The Odd Normal

Black-Face Muhammad Ali

2012-01-17T09:06:00.010-06:00

I AM The GREATEST; not the "black" greatest!

As I was driving into the office this morning, I atypically turned on the radio for no particular reason. Sometimes the noise helps me concentrate on nothing.
Scanning the stations, I hear a very distressed voice talking about something they seem very serious about but I had missed what the topic. Then I heard the
oh-so-over-used phrase…"I ask my 'black friends.' I confess, I was hooked. As I continued to listen and discover what this was all about, it was easy to get
lost in memories as a young black in a small town in school at the time ROOTS by Alex Haley was on TV. It was not unlike the 'feeling' in the air the day after
President Obama was announced after the election. I could not ignore the seething rage and hostility in the air. It was so palatable that I often found myself looking
away from people's eyes for seeing too much. Some days you just want to pass along your way without some constant fight or grand debate. I think this 'energy'
is an indication of issues that, much like abortion, will never go away. It is a story of issues that inhabit the very air we breathe. It lurks just below the surface waiting
for the slightest fracture to erupt out of the silence of its captivity. I fear the race issue will never die but how can it. It is as much of the Americana as capitalism and political corruption.

Meanwhile; here is the story from the radio station. I personally think it is no less honoring to be Ali WITHOUT the black face. If I dressed as Abe or George Washington, I would not feel the need for a 'white' face to make the costume a hit. Greatness is greatness; not relegated by the race or creed of an individual; but it is often relative. I think it an unfair reality to pretend we live in a white picket society that won't be offended because "we didnt intend to offend" is our outcry. As you know, we judge others on what they did and ourselves by what we 'intended."

Bert’s Son Wants To Do A Presentation As Muhammad Ali…Complete With Brown Face Makeup. Bert Gets A Definitive Answer, Straight From Mrs. M. Ali

Other black face articles
Beyonce Goes Black Face
Your Glam World blog
Wikipedia Black Face

I love this great country. Everyone has the right to their own opinions. Its not perfect but so far it seems the best fit for me.
That's my humble opinion.

!!!
M

On The Air - 2012 on the Behance Network

2012-01-13T13:44:00.002-06:00

AWESOME is a tough word to top;
but this does.

On The Air - 2012 on the Behance Network
!!!
M

Don't Mean Me!

2011-10-20T08:36:00.009-05:00

It would seem we have become a nation of onlookers, eavesdroppers, voyeurs and sneak-a-peeks! With the rash of reality tv and candid camera shows, we are overwhelmed by a glance into other people's stupidity from a safe distance; or so it seems. We love to watch somebody else's horror show — we feel better about ourselves. No, dont pretend you dont want to watch a train wreck…you wont look away. Even now, you would love to stop reading; but you cant. Its in your nature. I see stupid people walking around everywhere only they dont know they're stupid. Luckily I can (and you can) be entertained for free at THEIR expense. Everyone loves a laugh so long as its derived from someone else's freakshow. But what happens when you realize you've been voted into the frey?

!!!
M

Refracted Illusions of Half Truths

2011-05-13T14:42:00.004-05:00

Abundance of much might equal the presence of nothing. I wonder if a mind full of thoughts trapped there might be the same as being a mind empty? Water that does not move becomes stagnate and hence lifeless. I have known those whose disposition was best described as morose; I think that is not me. However it is akin to the same feeling you get when you hear "if I could do what you do..." The carrot beyond your grasp eventually rots and deep down you ferment with the knowledge that it was your fault. Someone greater would have seized the day and been well fed by now. Moments fly by and opportunities are best viewed in the rears. I don't know if our wisdom is only from our mistakes or our enlightenments are but tortures inflicted by something bored by our challengeless mortalities.

The dinosaurs, the Incans and ancient ones are all invisible witnesses to the chaos of time as the mighty ships of traditions and ideals begin to crumble from the inexhaustable infinities of our minute frailties span before our paths. And yet, with all that said, I am only getting better, getting stronger, becoming more indestructable and perishing at the same time. It would seem to make no sense and nothing but sense in the same breath. Days surrounded by people and maintaining solitary presence allows a vision unseen by most. The older I become the more I respect what was once the thorn that always kept me out of various desired circles. Its funny how once you don't need things how motivated they are to come to you. Perhaps that is the universe's way of maintaining balance or the retribution of the shameless. The equals and opposites are balanced to the letter. Our attempts to defy such laws only increase our demise. Eagles love the sky, fish love the water and man boasts of his choice. Is he imperfect by choice? Is that His perfection? Are we the perfect mistakes?

!!!
M

Heroes and Monsters; History and the Flatulence of the Pen

2011-03-28T08:17:00.004-05:00

This blog is a response to the observations made by my cohort in wrestling with arguments as old as the moments before time existed. Old battles long before man walked the face of this earth or appeared in his present state have never been settled. In fact, despite the numerous restarts of the grand earth experiments by the cosmic chess players; they themselves have resorted to earth to resolve their own conflicts. The following is my observation to this observation.

It is a funny thing when we think what should be simple becomes quite the opposite. The heroes of war are not much different from normal men; other than having more demons to sleep with. Men are often commanded but led by three heads — that of his commander and that of his conscience and that of his human instinct to survive. It is the unbalance of this trio that produces heroes and monsters. I say "and" because the difference is relative to the viewer and the history he records. The phallus of man's ego leads him down many a dim-lit cavern, covorting with human and supernatural; emerging barely human, forced to conform to a set of ideals not formed to his unique imposition of experiences. The war hero is forever transformed by cracking open the strongest and darkest capacities of the human being. The quantity of such no longer inexpandeable to its original containers or borders. Civilized "society" in all its politenesses and hypocracies including our creeds and religions are always governed more so by our egos than our morals. The bitterness of wrongs is sweet til it reaches the light of day or media and suddenly the mad rush to preserve public opinion; which is no more worthy to judge the individual than the individual is courted. The irony is that a world without heroes; has no room for monsters either. The ingredients are almost identical if not exactly.

To illustrate my point only in the simplest of terms; take for instance, Tiger Woods — Did he do anything that so many others haven't done who claimed far more morality or more highly politically positioned? And the companies that dropped sponsorship...really; who are they to claim higher morality? It is only about face and money...nothing more. Their executives brag of the same escapades in gloating handshakes and secret smiles until some incident reaches public view. Only in the light do we scurry to our high morals; in the darkness all men may well be equal or is it more true that might makes right? I tend to lean to the latter. The guilty brand the lamb for slaughter and smile in private proclaiming no such knowledge in public.

!!!
M

UFO's and Truths and Fantasies

2011-03-24T09:52:00.000-05:00

Friday Brigham Flout

2011-03-04T14:08:00.003-06:00

Its been quite the morning of discussions. Brandon Davies being suspended has been a morning topic. BYU basketball player Brandon Davies was suspended for violating the school's honor code. Whether you agree or disagree with the decision; some things have to be considered before you sound off.

1) He knew the rules: Yeah, I know, everybody just automaticly says ok to whatever to just get in or to just take the money. You cant hold that against a person. Granted there are a lot more things that we might consider far worse for a college-aged kid to get into; but when does our word mean anything? Yes, everyone makes mistakes and I am sure he is NOT the only one. Unfortunately he didnt work in politics or any huge fortune 500 company or financial institute being badly managed; he could have taken a mere slap on the wrist and probably some moral bail-out money and a season pass to some local strip club; not to mention, get to keep his job and additional "bonuses." But he isnt.

2) Everybody's doing it: Really? Are they? Not so convinced. With the media hanging on every bad decision Charlie Sheen makes and does; one might wonder WHY this is even newsworthy...well it isnt! Anyone who's been pulled over by the police for speeding and offered the excuse that everybody was doing it was soon followed by the response "but I caught you!" Not to beat a dead horse that's still running; had he been the head of a large financial institute or politician...he might have skated free.

3) But he's a star: No you didnt! Tell that to Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen and etc. What about the game and our school's financial losses resulting from being honest and holding to our rules? Honestly, there are very few saints; and a gazillion claiming to be nothing less. Despite knowing the rules and everybody's doing it; then it should certainly be ok for a star/public figure to do whatever they want. They made that money/fame; you didnt (thanks Bobby Brown). I am always entertained by people holding others to a higher standard than the one they hold to themselves. Sure, they signed up for it so I get the right to judge them...right? Is it?

Good luck kid. If you had been a catholic priest; you would have gotten a committee formed to decide just how many times you could do said act before some action might be required or transferred to a sister university. Life is uncertain. It is a fluid moment that can go wrong or right at the drop of a hat. I personally am impressed that BYU took a stand. Yes they have that right. We should consider what we say to be a close reflection of what we do. One might say that's old school. But isnt that the same school that the Founding Fathers were a part of...the original Bill Clintons....

A devil's advocate might wonder what would have happened had he had more than one girlfriend....but thats another blog.

!!!
M

Touch My Buttons; PLEASE!

2011-02-18T14:51:00.008-06:00

I don't know how it happened;
but it did. Slowly at first
then more quickly.
I was overcome by its salacious curves
and seductive potential.
My pulse quickened
just from proximity.
My finger reaches out hesitantly trembling
for the tiny button that I know
will set free my every fear
and want in a single touch.
My ears stand perched
for the sound of my deepest approval.
The surface of my fingertip
rests on the little button shiny with expectation,
measuring the resistance of my persistence.
I push.
Power on.

!!!
M

no hay como lo de uno: Mens sana in corpore insepulto (7)

2011-01-05T16:37:00.000-06:00

Truely odd; could it be normal? Its certainly well done.

no hay como lo de uno: Mens sana in corpore insepulto (7): "'Brainless beauty' de Pierre Fudaryli"

Time Lies Truths

2010-12-04T07:50:00.002-06:00

They say time speeds up as you get older. I remember "old folks" saying that during my childhood. At 43, almost 44, I am one of those "old folks" that I once could not fathom being. In the mirror, I can see that time has passed, etching its passing in little lines and gray hairs here and there and places hair was never noticeable before. For the most part, I still feel like me inside as I stare into the mirror trying to recognize the child trapped behind the aging face. I know he's in there waiting on me to come back or at least play and believe with him once again. Sometimes I can hear his infectious laughter beaconing me from some far away corner of memories and time.

Its not true. Time isn't any faster or slower than it was before. There are still 24 hours in a day and 60 seconds in a day. As I get older I realize how important each of those hours should be and that I cannot get them back or create more of them. That is the truth I think they, the "old folks" were talking about. It is a wisdom that doesn't spend the attention to communication of its ideas and realities. Time is not speeding up; but running out. Getting older, I realize that there is a finish; a moment coming that I will cease, a deadline at which I will expire. Will it hurt? Will I regret the path to it? Will the little boy inside flee at its coming and leave me all alone in the darkness? I don't know. Mostly I don't care; at least not yet.

I have always understood that everything that begins ends. Sure everyone who lives long enough will go to their share of funerals. You will stand there and look at the crowd of people gathered and survey their faces for reality, understanding, answers, and questions. People deal with emotions in many different ways. I suppose emotions are like roaches; for every one you see, there are a hundred hidden just below the surface or at the edge of the darkness. When I watch people, I note that funerals and weddings are much the same. If you look at the faces deeply, you can see all the same things bubbling just below the surface. At each event, I see the inner search for the personal questions of why and why not, the reality vs the illusions, the hopes and the fears holding hands, the passing of time and the effect of being human surrounded by more humans. I've been to many wedding and funerals. I have managed to leave most of them relieved and inspired. Is it because I know what's next for them? Is it because Im glad its not me? Do I just see the joy in both situations? or Just enjoy the energy of the exchange in the crowd?

Weddings are about uniting with humanity; funerals are about reuniting with God. Each relationship hinges on time shared together and the physical expression of love; even in the midst of odd circumstances. I have watched people in deep grief and great joy; they seem much the same. The light and the shadow are each important parts of the day; without one there is not the other. There's no left without a right, no up without a down; that is the order of things. If time is more important because there is less of it; then what of the wasted time before? Some make great claims of destiny and purpose — I suppose time lays all that out in its own way like a great tapestry, one side knotted and chaotic, the other a beautiful revelation. Some of us may well be fortunate to see both sides without dying; but I would count that number few. Even at faith and belief, there is still reality in the presence of such a moment in person/spirit. At the grand reveal, most say its too late if you bet on the wrong horse; others say it wont matter, and still more say there's nothing...just nothing. Whatever it is; it just is and we will have to just live with that. From the darkness can I write with light? Can I blog from heaven? Will the charcoal of Hell lend me penmanship?

Time isn't speeding up. There's not even less of it; just for me. Time will keep going without even a blink from my lack of existence. That doesn't bother me either. My 74 year old boss often reminds us of that fact of an inevitable end but continuation. The wheel will not stop for the spec of dust in the wind. Another year comes and goes and time keeps ticking; I just don't hear it as clearly. Time doesn't even blink at my smile of joy at its passing. I will be at the wedding of death and eternity stark naked without my money, computers, toys, careers or anything else I acquired while passing time. That will be ok. What a grand ceremony....

!!!
M

Vinegar Disciple: 6 Secret Kitchen Tricks; 4 Unknown Pet Rescues!

2010-10-22T14:57:00.003-05:00

As an alternative to expensive and harsh cleaning chemicals, vinegar is something you can feel good about keeping in your cupboards. It has an infinite number of uses around the home, in your diet and even outside! Here are just a few.

6 Secret Kitchen Tricks

1. Stinky Onion Hands?
Onions make food taste really spectacular. It also creates spectacularly stinky fingers. After chopping an onion, you can eliminate the odor from your hands by rubbing them with a bit of white vinegar. Vinegar will remedy any stinky finger issue.

2. Perk up Veggies, Eliminate GAS!
Great flavor is important; but everyone suffers when there's a gas leak. When cooking any vegetables from the cabbage family (like broccoli or cauliflower), adding a little vinegar to the water will perk up the taste and reduce the gassiness they can induce. This also works when cooking beans [major gas leak alert], making Mexican food a far more attractive option.

3. Got Garbage Disposal Funk?
After some continual usage, it can be difficult to stand over a sink and enjoy breathing. Clean and deodorize the garbage disposal by mixing equal parts vinegar and baking soda and putting it down the drain. After letting this fizzing mixture sit for a few minutes, flush out the drain with warm water for a clean and stink-free sink.

4. Microwave Dandruf?
Occassionally things leak or blow up in the ole microwave. Despite being much easier to clean up when its fresh, we rarely do. Its much later just before company comes over. The steam from a boiling a bowl of vinegar and water can loosen caked-on food and get rid of odors in the microwave, too.

5. Need a Fruit Fly NO FLY ZONE?
One of my favorite vinegar remedies and my personal weapon against fruit flies is to set out a small dish of white vinegar and some smashed fruit, covered with plastic wrap with some holes in it–the flies crawl into the trap, but can’t get out.

6. Get More Clout with Sparkling Grout!
Dirty grout is like a beacon in the kitchen and bathroom. The solution is far more simple than you might think. Forget using stinking bleach on tile grouting.Vinegar to the rescue! Let vinegar soak on it or add to a squirt bottle to coat problem areas and let soak in and then scrub with a toothbrush. WHAMMO...walk toward the light white!

4 Unknown Pet Rescues:
Pet Protection: There’s no need to use chemicals near pets when vinegar can handle most cleaning and bathing tasks.

1. Anti-Ear Scratch Batch
Wipe out itchy ears with undiluted vinegar to keep dogs and cats from scratching at them.

2. Say Naw to Cat Claw!
Cats avoid vinegar, so to keep them from scratching furniture or sitting on certain areas, spray a vinegar solution onto the spot.

3. Cat Pee Free!
For outdoor areas, soak a sponge in vinegar and place it in the forbidden area to keep cats away. If kitty likes to mark his territory, spraying the area with vinegar can help eliminate the smell and deter recurrences.

4. Got Skunk Funk?
Vinegar also gets rid of skunk odor. Soak the animal with a half-and-half vinegar and water solution, and then rinse with fresh water.

Dumb and Damned: Human Immortality Quest

2010-10-08T13:25:00.008-05:00

It's a beautiful Friday again on the cusps of Fall/Winter. I have been listening to a fantastic podcast called "Shatter the Darkness" with Russ Dizdar. It extremely thought-provoking. No, I have no misgivings on death. Everything dies no matter how many hours of healthy living and pills. I learned that early in life. Everyone has these questions and humannesses that continually move to an end.

Death: we tend to fear it despite trying to adore it. What does Death mean? Where do we really go? Are we still us after dying
Why do we have so many questions about the final voyage?

Having had some deeply loved pass on; why haven't they answered those questions or let us know? (Yes, I know the biblical reason)

We were once immortal (biblically speaking); now we aren't; separated from God through the sin of Adam. Science is searching for the God spark/particle. We are on a quest to become immortal and to defy death. Huge industries are founded on our quest to defy aging and death. There have been movies concerning artificial intelligence, the afterlife and cloning; all on a quest to demystify God and creation through discovering the Science of God or the Physics of God that we may control what we are AND become. In our effort to become God and thus; not require his presence or judgement: Are we questing these things to proclaim ignorance to the bible-thumpers and religiously inclined who are accused of just being simple-minded and afraid of the dark? Even greater questions; is there a larger force(s) who have far more over-arching motives leading the lambs to the slaughter toward the shroud of science so a greater spiritual darkness can be accomplished? Once we discover immortality, does it give us "freedom" from judgement? Afterall, Biblically speaking, we are judged at death; but if there is no death, can we still face judgement from an infinite god now on a lateral plane? If man becomes his own god; will not the whole of humanity be damned by itself?

Are these questions you've asked? Are they things you desire? Do you know why?

!!!
M

THURSDAY THANKIN'S — Lie to ME; Tell the Children Whats NOT True

2010-09-30T10:56:00.003-05:00

I heard a powerful song. Yeah a real song like artists used to make with lyrics beyond one sentence, with meaning beyond sex and excesses and no electronic prostitution by the music machine. I really hadnt heard of Richard Thompson; but today I am a fan. No, I dont share this to trash current music or even to bring down your day. The sixties and seventies were probably the last decades of real lyrics and songs that really are meant to impact your mind as well as your life.

Dont get me wrong. I dont hate technology. I do hate what we sometimes do with it instead of communing with our fellow humans or being considerate of their existence. I would never have discovered some fine music without my ipod or itunes. [Side note: full props to the APPLE lords for great inventions]. Today I am listening to a great podcast while working on newspapers, books and logo creations. iTunes Weekly Rewind plays great music and gives some real inside information on artists, songs and the reasons/histories behind them. Santana would be one of my top 5 guitarists; but this podcast is loaded with many fantastic treats.

Meanwhile this song was written by Thompson after his child was born; so with that in mind, these lyrics really cut to the chase. You might even recall wondering some of these same thoughts when the subject of Santa and the Tooth Fairy come up in your lifetime. We would be so looked down on if we ever really told the next generation the truth instead of selling them on entitlement and dreaming...not that those arent necessary. Balance grasshoppa, balance.

The End of the Rainbow
I feel for you, you little horror
Safe at your motherís breast
No lucky break for you around the corner
ĎCos your father is a bully
And he thinks that youíre a pest
And your sister, sheís no better than a whore

Life seems so rosy in the cradle
but Iíll be a friend, Iíll tell you whatís in store
Thereís nothing at the end of the rainbow
Thereís nothing to grow up for anymore

Tycoons and barrow boys will rob you
And throw you on the side
And all because they love themselves sincerely
And the man holds a bread-knife
Up to your throat, is four feet wide
And heís anxious just to show you what itís for

Your mother works so hard to make you happy
But take a look outside the nursery door
Thereís nothing at the end of the rainbow
Thereís nothing to grow up for anymore

All the sad and empty faces
That pass you on the street
All running in their sleep, all in a dream
Every loving handshake
Is just another man to beat
How your heart aches just to cut him to the core

Life seems so rosy in the cradle
but Iíll be a friend, Iíll tell you whatís in store
Thereís nothing at the end of the rainbow
Thereís nothing to grow up for anymore

Well thats all I got; so do what you want with it.
!!!
M

Expiration Date: Invisible Ink or Black Light

2010-09-24T14:39:00.006-05:00

It's gonna take me several years; but I WILL get there...be patient.

Its another Friday; improved by the conversations of commrades during a seemingly uneventful day. Our conversations are always interesting and the path to the origin of these is typically even more entertaining. Despite a week of crazy deadlines and long days of nose-to-the-grind-stone; we still remember to consider our humanity and enjoy life and the presence of ourselves among others. Today, the noted question that I will share today goes like this.

Would you want to know the particulars of your death?
or
would you prefer just to know what year and month?
or
completely have no idea?

At first, nobody wanted to know. As the conversation progressed and the dialogue continued; it became apparent that the answers had changed. YES, they argued the beauty of life was not knowing, the continuous adventure. Then as the question grew to its options, the answers swayed towards being fine with having some idea/timeframe; but not the specifics. So YES, they did want to know a general year and month but no more specifics. As I had argued, a general timeframe creates an knowledge of pacing that humans tend to be comfortable with to get affairs in order and correct past mistakes.

Of course the argument was made that if we knew too much that we would try to change it and it wouldnt happen that way. Typically, destiny and fate account for such leaks in knowledge and the very act of trying to avoid becomes the very affirmation of the predestined actions/fate. In other words, destiny already knew what you were up to prior to you knowing /finding out what you were/weren't supposed to know. One of the famous lines from Terminator II, "we have no fate; but what we make," and "the future is not set in stone" might come to the mind of sci-fi fans. If one might consider that nothing visible is made from anything visible prior to being created in the invisible; then life gets pretty interesting.

So would you want to know when you time was or would you prefer to operate completely in the dark or just have some tiny slits in the blindfold giving you a general idea of the timeframe?

!!!
M

33 Weird and Funny Gadgets - Chill Out Point

2010-08-30T09:38:00.001-05:00

A creative mind knows no bounds;
which makes it infinitely powerful and equally dangerous;
but it can also cause some raised eyebrows and wide grins or complete disdain.
33 Weird and Funny Gadgets - Chill Out Point

10 Fascinating Sealed and Secret Documents

2010-08-27T13:54:00.001-05:00

Its funny how people react to the truth. It is often a most bitter pill not sweetened by water or juice nor love.
It would seem to be the most unpopular of duties to enforce or illuminate. Its bearer almost always ends up singed
from the heat of its exposure. People always beg others to be kind or nice to them when these matters arise; but the
TRUTH is; they only listen when its rough. How unfortunate; perhaps it is just human nature. It's even worse when the truth
taints our heroes, religions, idols and prides.

10 Fascinating Sealed and Secret Documents

Read and enjoy!!!

!!!
M

my shoes are too small.

2010-08-13T11:26:00.006-05:00

Do my shoes make me look stupid; or was it my presence here?

Ok... I found this cool blog and it was soo funny and yet the observations I found to be very similar to mine.
Desite what folks want to pretend is politcally correct or stereotypical or whatever; the truth is pretty simple.
As much as I often want to be nice; I am finally convinced that nice folks are doormats. We try to be gentle, thoughtful and caring only to get some rude response and delinquent spectacle. FINE. I get it. Here comes the truth — my truth and you can
put it anywhere you like....better yet, put it somewhere you wont like it.

Things I hate:
Rude people
People on cellphones in line, shopping, anywhere public you dont want to hear their conversation at the top of their lungs
Messy people
Folks who dont do what they say
Laziness
Stupid people
Upitiness (conceit)
Blame dodgers/responsibility slick-lizards
People with really bad breath that insist on talking to you but cant smell their own breath
Stinky arm pits or worse/lack of general hygine practices

my shoes are too small.

The Pot Calling the Kettle Black!

2010-06-11T15:00:00.000-05:00

Today I may say what many would never repeat in public. This latest escapade of another politician oops exemplifies one of those unspoken reasons that undisclosed men and practically most women don’t trust other women. In a time of unplugged oil in the ocean, oil-slick animals, economic downturn, Mexico drug wars, starving children and unspeakable national security issues, the one thing foremost on this lady’s mind is her opponent’s hairdo. Now its one thing for Cindy Crawford to make such an observation about Mary Tyler More; but quite another for June Cleaver to criticize Aunt Bee! If there was even an inch of difference between the women’s appearances; there was certainly not enough room for a fat horsefly to get between them. Fiorina clearly has no problem calling out folks; but pointed fingers tend to have several pointing back at the accouser. In this case, there might be at least 3 others.

It’s a sad moment to realize with all the major catastropies in the free world, an opponent’s hairdo is the only thing on the radar. Well that solidifies any vote I would have had. It’s one of those unspoken things that guys know. Women may be women’s own worst enemies. Sure, men share part of this blame; I won’t be negligent in this observation. But much like everything/one else who cries victim, some small part of reality always winks from beneath the brow. Since none of us (yet) can choose our looks from birth or families born into or eye color, one might think that we would all find something important to be concerned about. Isn’t it odd that some of the biggest truths might well be “politically incorrect” to admit…especially when everyone more than likely are all thinking the same things. Is it normal for us to ignore the obvious for fear of being labeled as sexist, bigot, racist, holy-roller or worse? Odd it may be, but the definition of normal seems to be constantly redefining itself to become quite more than odd.

!!!
M

Double Barrel Justice: No, Seriously!

2010-05-20T15:04:00.007-05:00

My cohort and I were yacking this morning about the possibility that blogging might be more forthcoming if we picked a subject and wrote on that. If it works for Friday haikus, then why not Thoughtless Thursdays! Somewhere in our morning antics, under heavy deadlines and workflows; the phrase Double-Barrel Justice came up. It sounded funny until it didn’t. There’s something about the double-barrel that America loves. For as long as I can remember, it has been a symbol of “being completely serious now.”

It’s funny how some things make people immediately understand what was somehow not comprehensible before. Granted there are only 2 barrels; its not likely that anyone’s gonna miss or outrun the buckshot! Double-barrels have always been an old country standard for pure communication. Sometimes words just get in the way. That must be what the folks are thinking when they try to pass guns in bars laws.

One might even draw the conclusion the double barrels are for making you do right. Stereotypically, if you are at least my age, shotgun weddings come to mind, along with moonshiners and chasin’ varmits. All of these have that same common thread of justice tied to guns. Thus it is not a far stretch to see preachers, bibles and guns bearing some relativity. They all tend to hit you over the head; in most cases, of course, for your own good. One might even declare that every denomination have their own special series of official double barrels like the Olympics have official sponsors.

Despite most of this rambling to be intended for entertainment and giggles, the after-taste still bears some unsavory realities or non-politically correct corrects. Facts can be edited or changed; truths tend to be permanent. Double-Barrel justice insists that things be done a certain way; dictated ONLY by the bearer who may or may not be doing the right thing. Isn’t that part of Einstein’s theory of relativity?

!!!

Death Stole Home: Memories Linger in Old Places

2010-05-14T10:19:00.002-05:00

WARNING: This blog will be straight out and without edit; raw. I have been struggling with the thought of this blog for some time. The words are not clear in my head. The feelings are a bit unsettling. It may read very disconnected.

I have spent a lot of time after visiting my father in my hometown some weeks ago before the great flood of TN thinking about what was, what is and what is to come. As the oldest of six, I know in theory that I will be the first to die among my siblings. My father's brothers had the same looks in their eyes when we attended their eldest brother's funeral. That longing thought of the future coming that could not be avoided. I don't know why everyone dies; but I know that they do. I think my stepfather has been gone for 2 years and my mother for 3 years. I say I think because time has had very little meaning since they passed. In my spirit, I feel the numbness still lingering from mother's absence and am certain that I have accomplished nothing worthwhile since; no do I have much drive to do so. The purpose seems meaningless. Despite not really wanting it any other way, it stinks being the oldest. Everything seems to weigh upon your shoulders; you feel the strong urge of being a fixer, discipliner, healer, rescuer, guardian, peacemaker, war maker and glue. Without mothers, it becomes strangely clear just how strange the relationships are without the glue that held them in place before. The memories sneak up at the oddest and smallest of times and things. Sometimes your mind reminds you of little things it took notes of without telling you at the time. Its like a slap from a cold hand in July. It stings and comforts in the same lick.

I cannot remember how to be driven any more. Before I think it was to prove that it was all worth while; that her sufferings were not in vane. Sure fathers count too; but let's face it; men get the easy side of the deal. Every accomplishment I can remember being underscored by her smile or her tears. Now those days are gone; that smile is invisible. This blog started because as things die, so does the definition of home change. I always used to define home as where I live now but real home was where I began. But what happens when the people that began you are gone? I couldn't help but wonder how or why would I go back to that small West Tennessee town once they were both gone. Would I come back? Why? Would it still be home? Would I miss it or forget all the things I thought were so unique and drawing during holidays?

Sure I still have some good friends from there. Some of them have lost both parents now. My long lost refuge and hero of the day kept me anchored to what seemed like reality then. My fondest memory was during college and we were both back home. It was winter and we had been at college. Yes, we were men of our own destinies then; we stayed up as late as we wanted and made and suffered from our own decisions. Of course, by 9pm in a small town, the sidewalks roll up; by midnight, only gas stations were open. Unable to sleep, I called and of course he had the same problem. His mom was great too. So I went over; it was a short drive. We had hot apple cider with one of those Sonic starburst candies in it. We talked for hours and sometimes we could just sit silently for the same amount of time and everything was still just fine. Occasionally his mother might saunter through and laugh and say good night. My mind always goes back to that night. The silence and the future all co-habitating. His mother was a very special lady. When she passed, it was another sad day.

I never saw him much after she was gone; there was very little reason to come back I guess or the memories were just too strong. I ask him last week about this very subject: Does home change when what started it is gone? or is it defined by birth or earliest memories? In his wisdom, he replied, I say home is different for everyone. It could be the place where you feel the most unconditional love or just your private little peace of paradise where you escape the World and everything that is of the World. For me, Home has changed as I have gotten older; but in my heart, home will always be in Sibley, because that's where I feel my Mom's presence is strongest. I suppose his words made sense; they always did.

I still dont know about where I have not gone. So I suppose I have such reasonings to look forward to in the future. I have rarely been able to assume that I will feel as most others do in typical situations. Its always been different for me. I never understood it and when I stopped caring; it stopped hurting. Whomever we are cannot help me and that's ok. Time will do what it will and destiny is but a thorn in the eye of choice. What is and what is not are interchangeable to me. I have decided against the norm and taken the roads less traveled. I know the dead know what we can only hope or make up. That's a reality that most of us are afraid to face. But our day is coming too.

Where is home for you? How do you define home? Is it dependent on birth, memories, parents … I want to know. I want to hear your take on it all. Its ok if you disagree with anything I have already said. Everybody has eyelashes until they don't.

!!!
M

DREAMS: The Aggregation of Our Best, Worst and Yet

2010-04-23T10:32:00.015-05:00

The Stuff that Dreams Are Made by John Anster Fitzgerald, circa 1858
Image from Ursi's Eso Garden, a great blog with some amazing images. Check it out too!

I have had many dreams lately. Ironicly, friends have also been telling me of the same occurrences. Chatting with Andy, my cohort this morning, he asked me if I was familiar with lucid dreaming. I was and had done it often. In fact, I prefer it. Lucid dreaming is like driving a car with the windows down. You feel the air, you see the road and you smell that air as the sun warms your skin. It’s the supreme form of dreaming. So what is it and what about it?

Lucid dreaming, also known as dream consciousness or conscious dreaming, is dreaming while being aware that you are dreaming. At Dream Views, you will find information on lucid dreams, controlling dreams, the stages of sleep, dream recall, dream signs and more. For me, my best dream state is right before I have to wake up – which is part of the downside. I typically wake up right at a really good part.

Have you ever controlled your dreams?  Yes, that is really possible! Another great site on the matter, LD4all helps you learn how to do it. I have had several dreams that I was falling in and since I was lucid, I would focus and grow wings or add an awning to a building or create a pool below. So there are some real values to being lucid while dreaming. In addition, its all in the details.

LD4all lists 5 areas important to gain control/understanding of your dreams.

1) Obviously you have to first REMEMBER your dream. That can be tricky and difficult; especially if you try to force it. It works best by just letting it come back to you slowly. One trick: Water trick You can also take a glass of water, and consciously drink half of it. While you drink you tell yourself that you are going to dream and remember your dream. Then visualise how you wake up, drink the rest of the water, and remember your dream. When you awake, you empty the glass and if everything goes well, your subconscious will be triggered to let your dream surface.

2) WRITE it down. It is a great practice to keep a journal by your bed that you can easily reach and write during the moments of inspiration or remembering. Trust me, more than likely you will forget what seemed so vivid just hours ago.

3) RECOGNIZE Once you have a list of several dreams, you may notice some reoccurring themes. These are critical to being aware of what’s really going on in your life.

4) REALITY CHECK Some dreams are so real that you might not be sure if you are awake or dreaming. I have had dreams of my complete morning schedule: shutting off alarm, getting up, showering, dressed and walking out the door; only to realize I had overslept. Those are the days I would rather just call out sick. I hate being late. Here are some reality checks you might employ if your dream has you confused:

Read something. Read something, look away and read it again. If you are dreaming the text will have changed. It will maybe not even be text at all but weird symbols.

Look at the time. Find a clock and tell the time. Then look away and look back again. If you are dreaming, the time will have changed.

Hold your nose. Simple and effective. Hold your nose and try breathing through your fingers. If you can breathe you are dreaming.

5) SIGNS Lucid dreaming leaves signs just like everything else. Once you begin trying to lucid dream, you may notice several unique signs including feeling paralyzed, senses of motion and/or false awakenings.

Our dreams can become very powerful tools for effective management of our lives and environments. Through them, we gain a better understanding of what’s really going on inside our minds and behind our faces. Lucid dreaming is the premiere usage of dreaming. Don’t get addicted or get weird and don’t dismiss its value.

Some great sites to interpret dreams you may be having:

Dream Dictionary

Dream Forth

Dream Central

Dream Interpretation

The Apocalypse of Tuesday

2010-04-20T15:03:00.007-05:00

Image courtesy of the amazing art of Meats Meier: Artist and Animator.

Tuesday has been another busy day. That’s good in my book; the alternative is not so attractive. I would rather be busy than trying to look busy or fill my time by looking for things to do. When I hit a slow spot, I look forward to looking for things that will make me better as a person or better as a graphic artist. Sometimes that can be a very daunting task; there is so much information to be found and digested.

Nonetheless, there is that gnawing feeling in the background as I push through projects that a quantum leap is coming. Its that special moment that something is and something else no longer is; almost transportation to a level without the road being tred. It is these moments that become benchmarks of our existence and progression. Its almost as the needle on a record is lifted and placed at a different place without the knowledge or benevolence of the needle. The interesting part is that the groove on the record is already there. Hmmm…how?....why?...buy whom? Would destiny have pushed us to that point anyway or is it such that makes the jumps happen?

Learning creates a hunger to lean more. The same thing is true of creation; perhaps God is just that way. Think of all the animals, insects, sea creatures, cells, microscopic entities, spiritual organisms…..what a wide variety of making things and designing how they function internally and with each other. That’s huge! What is it about creating things that makes, generates and perpetuates more of the very same? How does something become from nothing? What manufactures a thought into a physical form? Some argue that things are the figment of our imagination; but if you stump your toe in the dark, you certainly were not thinking about the painful chair being in your path. As I get older, I am less inclined to settle for BS….yeah you know what I’m talking about; things that everybody says are true or are just the way things are or its always been this way. Does that mean I have to touch the fire; no, but I can explore new things to do with it or ways to control it.

The human mind is infinitely amazing. One needs only to look around at not only the good technologies; but also the darkest cruelties to see the potential of creation and its effects beyond the mind into the physical world. Our thoughts and the invisible waves all have an effect/affect on us with or without our consent. Unlike Vampires, these invisibles are not restricted by our permissions. Our cravings for control are the very demonstration of our lack of such as we attempt to tame not only our world but its very building blocks. We love the idea of playing with God’s building blocks and marvel at what we can accomplish; but what can we make without His materials? Are we capable of making something from nothing that wasn’t here before? The questions and the answers are living liquids....

!!!
M

So Odd; Its Probably Real!

2010-03-23T11:18:00.001-05:00

Best new exciting way to save on your gas mileage....

12 Things I Learned from Thomas Jefferson

2010-02-26T15:39:00.004-06:00

I came across this when I subscribed to the Tip Hero. It is so good I had to share. Sign up yourself and get plenty for yourself. Meanwhile… what I learned from Jefferson by way of Tip Hero…

In 1811, Thomas Jefferson sat down and wrote out 12 thoughtful rules of conduct for his granddaughter, Cornelia, when she was twelve. As I read these rules I was surprised by how many of them pertained to personal finance and perhaps personal management, as well.

1. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

2. Never trouble another with what you can do yourself.

3. Never spend your money before you have it.

4. Never buy a thing you do not want, because it is cheap, it will be dear to you.

5. Take care of your cents: Dollars will take care of themselves!

6. Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.

7. We never repent of having eat too little.

8. Nothing is troublesome that one does willingly.

9. How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened.

10. Take things always by their smooth handle.

11. Think as you please, and so let others, and you will have no disputes.

12. When annoyed count 10, before you speak, if very angry, count 100.

The founding fathers were full of great wisdom and quotes. Be sure to also check out these 30 Money Quotes from Poor Richard's Almanack published by Benjamin Franklin from 1732 - 1758.

Source: Monticello.org - Jefferson Encyclopedia
Submitted by: Ray @ Tip Hero 02/24/2010 7:32 PM

Well that was good for me. Since I don’t smoke, I guess I will have a handful of Haribro’s Gummy Bears (the supreme best in gummy bear manufacturing…yes, I tested the rest.) This goes great with some good ole TEXAS Blues. It’s smoking HOT, Cowdog Kelly! Your blues give me the yellows, (smiles, that is).

Take Responsibility: Be Proactive

2010-02-25T15:24:00.004-06:00

During the day of an amazing array of responsibilities, I listen to my iPOD hoping to do more with less or at least at the same time. Learning while I work makes me a captive audience; so why not improve myself too if I can. Dr. Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has a podcast that is just as good as the book; but maybe better. You can’t read and work at the same time.

The first habit: be proactive.

“Your behavior is a product of your own decisions based on values; not being a product of your conditions based on feelings. Proactive people carry their weather with in them; so they make the best of any situation.”

Proactives don’t blame other people. Seize the ability to choose your response and actions. What a novel idea. Not that any of this is earth-shattering news never before heard this side of glory; but we need to refresh ourselves often of good foundational information. Sometimes its easy to make excuses or throw up your hands and say se la vie, there’s nothing we can do or I guess that’s the way its supposed to be. Unfortunately, we ALWAYS have a choice. Our responsibility is to ACTIVATE that self action.

Proactives are sometimes labeled as those happy people or someone who doesn’t really face reality. Nothing could be farther from the truth. That is not to say there are not things that you should just leave or avoid. But often we find ourselves in situations that we blame others for and refuse to see our part or our acceptance when when could have refused to become hostage. I have often retorted that the world is made of victims and volunteers. You can only be a victim once; after that, you might be considered a volunteer. I cannot take credit for this wisdom; I heard it once in a great sermon along with, “What we fail at long enough, we will quit.” Great morsals of wisdom.

How do you swallow a horse pill?
Admit you’re a horse. Well it helps to have a liquid handy. Whether that’s a support system or chopping the pill into smaller chunks with a goal in mind; that’s up to you. Certainly most of us are faced with things which we have had years of habitual dedication; that is typically not changed overnight. However, it can be changed. If you want a summer body; don’t start working out when it gets warm; start when its cold…begin in the winter.

I GAVE my Way to Getting: How I Got What I Wanted by Giving It Away

2010-02-17T15:42:00.004-06:00

I heard a great quote:
“the only thing that can be lacking in any situation is that which you are not giving” …A Course in Miracles

We are truly blessed if we have valuable friends that continue to tell us the truth despite what we want to hear. If you don’t have those; perhaps you should start looking for them or become one. I heard this quote in one of my podcasts, “Beyond 50 Radio” podcast in an interview with Arlene Ford.

I feel like this is valuable information because we are all surrounded by lonely people everyday. It may even be ourselves. Aside from random acts of kindness, which actually feeds from this quote also, we have enormous potential to help each other daily. Do we really know what we want from life and other people? Are we really willing to admit to ourselves whom we are? What really matters to us? These and other inescapeable questions not only haunt us; but enrich us. Between being thankful and grateful and forgiving; we tend to get more of those things back from others. That includes beginning with ourselves.

To illustrate that point:
My wife and I agreed not to give Christmas presents to each other one year and instead take stuffed animals to a nursing home. It went great and I think we got as much or more from the act as those we thought we were helping. By accident, one person asked for an extra one to have to give to anyone they might encounter. A light went off. The next year, we decided to give the gift of giving. Instead of giving them one stuffed animal; we gave one and another as a gift to give away. You would have thought we were giving away money or gold! It was clear that these folks were glad to get a gift; but far more happy to be ABLE to GIVE to someone else! It truly was the gift of giving!

Love Being Better Than Yourself

2010-01-29T12:05:00.001-06:00

Faulkner says:
Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.

Don’t you love your Bffs and all their great things that make them so special to you. Growing up with an inferiority complex, I always looked for people to admire or at least appreciate my oddnesses. As time went by, I got tired of looking. That’s when it hit me. Screw ‘em. We have always been here for me from the beginning. I don’t need somebody else to validate myself. Boy, did things change after that. Sure I met one of my best friends in 5th grade algebra over a comic book. And yes, our art competitions made each of us much better far faster. In the end, yourself is always with you; so here we are.

I have discovered that the less you seek, the more mystified the rest of the world is as to why you don’t need them. That’s insanely funny. In fact, its hard to drive them away with sticks. Go figure. I guess that’s why rich folks have people always giving them more and the broke dude can’t get a loan. Faulkner knows something about the human spirit that it may not want to acknowledge. Competition can bring out the best and worst in all of us; but we can really channel that energy into something that forges us ahead into unfamiliar territories and accmplishments. I don’t mind losing; so long as I deserve to….besides, its losing that makes you better, not winning.

3 Secret Reasons We Love Babies

2010-01-29T11:36:00.004-06:00

What is it about babies and their effect on us?
Ever notice what happens to a room full of intelligent people when a baby enters. Suddenly old folks begin grinning. Women start smiling and talking in what they think is baby language and strong men melt at the slightest smile or eye contact. Even at funerals, the baby manages to invade on the solace of the moment, stirring some small gesture of a smile or memory of happier times.

1) Babies are cute! Well, most of them; if truth be told. We love the round, happy bundles of joy. Something about babies reminds us that everything was once perfect. After all, who remembers being a baby? Really? Nobody; but everyone is sure they once were one. Babies have little fingers, little toes, little noses and big cheeks. Who can resist…. Even more entertaining are all the little baby outfits inwhich women adorn them. Just more cute to be had.

2) Babies are helpless. There is nothing a baby can do to you. They are completely innocent. Babies can’t take over the world, lie to you, hurt you or even question your authority. Somewhere lurking in each and everyone of us is the need to protect or be god-like. With that said, we want to protect what is good and innocent for at least a little while. Babies remind us of our own helplessness even as adults. We miss the arms of protectors and a carefree existence from some great protector lurking to swoop in and save us from ourselves. Perhaps its just a simple matter of trust—babies don’t know any better. A babies smile is license to believe we are welcomed to protect its helpless state.

3) We are all narsacist! YES! I said it. We glare into babies eyes hoping that they can see our real spirits; hoping the baby can judge our intent rather than our actions. We hope that such innocence fresh from the other side will peer into our souls and smile. Of course, the baby is smiling because it knows how good I really am, the baby sees that I am special! I can tell you aren’t convinced yet; but you’re losing the logic battle now as you look back over the times a baby smiled at you. Babies don’t count as part of the cruel world we are forced to protect ourselves from. The baby wont give me a ticket or insist that I do something I don’t want to do…aside from messy diapers and silence. Even the chuckle of babies really reflect on ourselves. That sound of complete happiness we occasionally enjoyed we want back. The purity of the smile in those little eyes clean of the human stain are melodic.

Deep in the Heart of Bendyland!

2010-01-08T14:25:00.001-06:00

Given our current state of weather in Nashville, TN; there’s a limited set of preferences for the chilly faint of heart. Granted, I can appreciate the cold; but my soul is warm. These temperatures are best enjoyed from the comfort of one’s couch in front of a roaring fireplace with a cold drink, warm blanket and hot partner. A favorite movie doesn’t hurt either.

In my morning converse with ex-Tennesseans; inspiration struck like warm Starbucks coffee to shivering bones in the dead of winter. Bendyland is a place where these preferences are the preferred; where comfort and luxury are casual familiars and the comfortable couch is always warm and peacefully occupied. The leisure of the day is at your disposal. The heavy snowflakes fall outside your window, crying when they kiss the warm panes becoming only memories and expectations. Bendyland is a wonderful place for those who do enjoy the pleasures of life; the ones that are really hard to come by: peace, quietness, companionship and choice.

So Bendy, before you escape to that distant land, think of hot apple cider, candy canes and all those other incredible things that adults love about snow days too. Everything is possible in the land of milk and honey and Bendy.

The snow is white - so soft and bright
Deep in the heart of Bendyland.
Cold outside – snow piled up high
Deep in the heart of Bendyland.
A big plush couch – I can be a slouch
Deep in the heart of Bendyland.
Reminds me of - the things I love
Deep in the heart of Bendyland.
My crazy friends – can’t barge in
Deep in the heart of Bendyland.
Popcorns hot – my drink is not
Deep in the heart of Bendyland.
The fire’s bright – everything’s just right
Deep in the heart of Bendyland.
Let the snow fall – cellphone’s off
Deep in the heart of Bendyland.

…pass the shrimp please…. A girl can dream!

Tis the Season: Holiday Reloaded!

2009-12-11T16:35:00.002-06:00

It is the time of year when retailers sink or swim, love is expressed or regretted and affection is only as strong as the owner’s dollar can bear. Once sacred, commercialism has robbed a noble holiday of its purity. But what is purity? Maybe Christmas isn’t so pure after all and its diminishing sacredity is no more than a hint of its true sour origins. Is it more pagan than Christian or is it like so many other things— whitewashed beyond recognition and steeped in political correctness.

But what of the good tidings and peace on earth wishes…. Remember when you were a child and your mother told you to say thank you with the person standing there watching and listening to you being told to say thank you. Did it feel empty then? Was it more embarrassing than grateful? Did it have any meaning when forced? Are we by nature ungrateful? Clearly wars are not on the decrease and the violence and corruption of man are not waning; but waxing!

The upside of Christmas or Americanism: At least with an official holiday, we can be prompted to pause and be grateful. Without such prompting, we would be buried in our to-do lists and agendas and running without being chased. The rat-race would have claimed more victims and life would be grim without some good cheer to be spread. Perhaps the holidays save us from being our self-absorbed selves even if its for selfish reasons we are generous.

Three Things YOUR BFF Said About You!

2009-11-02T15:55:00.000-06:00

Nobody knows you better than your BFF. That's the value of someone who
has known you through highs and lows. Everybody loves a winner; but
BFFs are there before and after. That solidifies their value. We all
have moments we haven't been proud of or even regret. BFFs know three
really important things about us.

3) You wish everyone well. People are great and everybody is
very fortunate in some way. Everybody loves to volunteer during
Thanksgiving or Christmas at local missions. They feel better about
themselves for all the useless gifts they will spend wasted money on
and the over-eating they've already committed to because its the
holiday. Our human heart/mind is guilt-enslaved and holidays really
bring it out into the light. Nevermind the other 363-4 days that the
less fortunates suffer or that I ignored you. I have heard stories of
angry mission workers overwhelmed and irritated by the calls from
would-be volunteers that ONLY show up or whose numbers surge around
the holidays.

2) You love to help everybody. The other day at the gym, a
friend mentioned that someone who never spoke to him before struck up
a strange conversation. By question 3, the reason revealed itself. "Do
you have a truck?" That was it. I knew there was a good reason for
good behavior. Our presence is never that important until somebody
else needs it. He was torn between assisting and being insulted for
being ignored until now. Its easier to help strangers most times
because you will likely never see them again. That eliminates your
guilt and their entitlement and your requirement to change your
schedule. The ultimate question we are left pondering, "do they
deserve my help?" Aside from the legitimate few; you will typically
end up feeling used and abused or deserted when you need the same
favor. Much like encountering the person holding up the signs at the
intersection; you catch yourself trying to evaluate if they "deserve"
your help or mercy or are they just taking advantage of your
good-hearted benevelence.

1) Nobody matters more to you than you. Ignore points 3 and 2.
Only this final one really matters. Sure you wish them well...and
that's the extent of it. Wish allows you to participate from afar.
That makes it perfect; you don't want to break a sweat, a nail or your
routine. You love everybody the same as long as they stay out of the
way and away from you. Sure they're great; just don't tread on me. The
secret that we hide in our hearts is so private; between myself and I.
You know that, don't you? This is just between us. If you don't tell
them; they will never know. It's our little secret. In the end, its
all about you. If it adds no money, convience or good feelings to you,
you don't care. Go bother somebody else. Find another sucker. Chances
are your BFF knows this about you and, in agreement, you keep each
other's secrets.

Lost and Found in the Dark

2009-10-02T14:55:00.000-05:00

What do we like about the dark? What about it scares us? Why would we be lost without it?

We all have an image of ourselves that we choose to believe is our identity; that part of us that is uniquely who we are as opposed to anyone else. It makes us who we are, like a psychological, ethical fingerprint. In the dark, people are rarely the same as they were in the light. WHY? Perhaps their insecurities, fears and hopes are hidden. The disturbing heart of darkness is its power to reveal as much as conceal. Darkness might be the best mirror of what we don't see or don't want shown.

Even as children, many of us were afraid of the dark. The noises and emotions that random happenings create because of the lack of interaction of all the human senses tend to dominate our minds. On the other hand, the fact is that more fear comes from the forced usage of any other senses without sight. I wonder if Judas kissed Jesus with his eyes closed? I've been in the ocean dogpaddlingwhen something brushed my calf from below. Not being able increased the level of fear! Not to mention not being able to swim. On another occassion, I swam/floated through an underwater tunnel for 300 yards mostly in the dark. I can still remember listening to the loud sound of my own breathing. I can still feel the vibration of my heartbeat in the water as my eyes fixed on the tiny hole of light at the end of my journey. In Redemption Road, a kid puts a large rubber snake in his father's bed, under the foot of the covers. His reaction is immediate when his toes make contact. Even when we are in a surrounding we consider safe, darkness still catches us offguard. Maybe mirrors shouldnt be shiny; but dark.

So which of us is us: the one in the dark or the one in the light? Can one exist without the other?

!!!
M

Thank God for the Rain!

2009-09-25T15:44:00.000-05:00

It seems not so long ago when we were all complaining that we weren't getting enough rain. Clearly so many irritated prayers have been answered. Unfortunately, there have been hundreds of new prayers crying for the rain to stop.... Are we ever happy with just what we have?

I think Shyeryl Crow said it best:

It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got

...see the video

So we can be sure that a long drought is in the future. Depending on how many prayers we sent up, it could be a very long drought. Imagine being in a Garden of Eden with EVERYTHING and never having to work or sweat and blowing it over an apple and a snake. You wouldn't have done that, would you? Would you ruin paradise for a false promise?

!!!
M

The Fourth Kind

2009-09-24T11:57:00.002-05:00

Some things are better left suspected. If we ever really knew, would it be too boring and would thousands of tonues cease to quiver?

Wal-Mart Always!

2009-09-17T09:52:00.000-05:00

Well a friend sent me a sight that was sad and funny. Of course, I pass it on to you. You will laugh too unless you see your picture. Some things can't be explained. You just gotta see 'em to believe 'em!

People of Walmart was founded in August of 2009 by three friends and roommates after an inspirational trip to Walmart.

Let’s face it; we all have seen the people who obviously don’t have mirrors and/or family and friends to lock them in a basement, and they all seem to congregate at Walmart. It’s not everywhere that you can shop for milk at 10 a.m. next to a 400lb mother of 6 wearing a pink tube top, leopard tights, and hooker heels. Where else can one go to pick up underwear at 3 O’clock in the afternoon and spot the greatest mullet of all time paired with a mustard stained wife beater (which only accents the extreme amount of body hair) and camo pants that were actually used in Vietnam.

!!!
M

Our Monstrous Potential!

2009-09-16T13:01:00.000-05:00

I ran across this blog by accident and it makes some fantastic points. Along with some fantastic art, the revelation is pure magic. Its from Designer and Illustrator Kevin Cornell of the UK. Ahoy mate! Here is an exerp:

But the public Kevin. He's a different guy. Polite. Accomodating. Empathetic. Just the sort of well-behaved individual he needs to be so that he can get along with others. That's how society works. We all trade in a little of our selfish, aggressive, and otherwise beastly characteristics so that we can have jobs, friends, families and significant others. And for the most part, everyone is like this... there's a public version. And a private version. More....

Isn't it odd that we think monsters are always exclusive to them OR us; not them AND us. Kevin's blog is so wise and his talent is beyond reproach. Kevin, you have made my day. Great monsters!

!!!
M

To Be Better or Not to Be...

2009-09-11T15:50:00.000-05:00

A ham sandwich without the meat is just two slices of bread.

We seem to be fixated on getting something for nothing these days. In our instant society, we are often offended by anything that takes longer than 3 seconds. Doubt me, pause 3 seconds after the green light changes at the next intersection. With all that is a prevailing instinct of entitlement that goes hand in hand with that fixation. We also seem to be fixated with giving our children better than we had. While that sounds harmless and admireable on the surface, don't be so comfortable. Are they better than you? Have war, famine and human calamity become extinct? I think not which typically means that sooner or later we all face some hard times/decisions. Guess what happens if we have no experience? We raise generations that have no concept of how to cook without microwaves, do math without a calculator or enjoy the spoils without the work. Sooner or later, reality comes a knockin' Who will answer?

!!!
M

6 Things I Know About You

2009-08-31T13:52:00.001-05:00

Ok, I'm gonna rattle your brain today with a blog that has NOTHING to do with me; it's the ugly truth about YOU. Yes, you, I know who you are and what you think and what you're going to think next. How's that for Monday Upchuck! Look at you; you can't even stop reading for your own good.

Six Things I Know About You

1. You’re a genius. There’s at least one thing you’re better at than anyone one else. Why even pretend that you don't know what it is that you're best at doing. If you don’t know what that thing is, go find out. Look under your nose, denseduff.

2. You care. You want to do more with your life than just work and pay bills. You want to make a positive impact in the world; maybe even never forgotten by being famous. Live the dream, do something meaningful with your life, all that stuff; if only you knew where to start.

3. You’re lazy. You spend most of your time doing things that don't make a hill of beans difference but you would never admit it to yourself if you even cared — you just sit here reading this rediculous blog, dying to click on my next link! Sure go ahead.

4. You’re vacationing on the fence. You don’t know if you’re good enough to succeed at doing what you’re really good at, so you go on devoting less brain cells to the things that could really make a difference — to yourself and others. But you do need to pay those bills, and you may even have a family to support. You’re afraid it would take too much work and time to do both right. You're a chicken.

5. You’re a hypocrite. It’s OK, admit it. Tell the truth and shame the Devil. Everyone is. We can’t live up to our OWN standards, and that eats us up. Society loves to hate someone else's hypocrisy, so pay no attention to the man in the mirror.

6. You suck. There, I said it. Thanks to #3-5, you aren’t doing your best at whatever it is you’re great at. You’re probably using less than 50% of your potential, and you know it. You’re spend most of your cranium capacity on replaying self-doubts. The people who are successful at doing what you want to do must have more talent, brains and discipline. Give up now.

Are you shocked by my genius yet?

Or did I tell you six things about me after all?

Instead of ending this with a list of six random bloggers I know, I’m going to “tag” six superstars ~~whose ideas I ripped off~~ who inspired the above, and stated those points much better than I could. If you’re looking for solutions to the dilemma presented herein, go check them out.

Seth Godin

Merlin Mann

Kathy Sierra

Brian Clark

Mur Lafferty

Stark Raving Calm

!!!
M

District 9: The Human Tradgedy Again

2009-08-28T15:46:00.000-05:00

Well its no secret that I like SciFi and aliens and all that stuff. The previews to District 9 had me hooked for immediate viewing. I drug my wifey to the theater despite the Wilson County Fair for my own selfish wants. She snickered in the dark for the first 6 minutes as the screen was filled with a documentary style scenes of aliens in trash heaps running around like hungry children in any third world country commercial. She was convinced that it was another let down like some other unnamed SciFi flops. The scenes were very assaulting and I was concerned that I had been snookered again too. Was this some sad alien comedy or hollywood alien junk crap of a movie making mockery of a viable reality? I was very uneasy in my seat. I could hear my mind saying..."its that doggone preview trailer maker guy again; he's tricked me again."

10 minutes later, it was apparent that we had been submerged into a real socio-political world not so alien afterall. Throat-deep in plot, this very engaging documentary-style movie latches on with titanium cables and pulls you under. A huge hovering craft over a third world city, hundreds of slave alien beings needing to be integrated into our human society - I guess you could say they were illegal aliens; human resistance and fear of anything less than comfortable - trash, etc. is fine, just not in our backyard; and the less fortunate resorting to crime to merely survive with mounting hate on each side of the species spectrum - I would say we have a major plotline. I won't reveal any spoilers here; except to say we are so acustomed to sympathising as long as we don't actually have to get our hands dirty or we can check out of "their" situation and go back to "our" comforts at any time.

You may say there are no aliens. You might cry send them back. You might even have one standing right beside you, in your family or even more shockingly, unknowingly be one. Is it our capacity to love or to hate that makes us so severely "human."

In the Era of Change

2009-08-19T15:43:00.000-05:00

It is said that the pen is mightier than the sword. It is said that image is king! These sayings are embedded in an ugly truth crawling at the underbelly of every American idealism. The poet Shane Koyczan said that he doesn't keep change in his pocket; he keeps it in the tip of his pen, because sometimes the writing on the wall can use a little revision. It would be easy to notice despite all the headline chatter about change; we don't really want to commit to it. Critics cry It's too hard. Now isn't the time. This isnt the right way to do it. "

It would appear plain to me that if you knew a better way to do it; why havent you done it long before now.Will we always shoot down the vanguard of change. Will we forever as people throw eggs at what we arent comfortable digesting; hoping to chase it away with fear and hate til we appear more beautiful and intelligent in our own eyes. Pay no attention to the man in the mirror. Change is hard work and not for the weary at heart. It requires hard turns at uncomfortable g-forces and laser cuts deeper than the bones of comfortable lives. Can we not walk boldly into the dark shivering together in a unity stronger than our fears but far weaker than our hopes?

Small Giants: My How Things Have Changed

2009-07-29T15:55:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time there was a very old story. In this story a lumbering giant towered over everyone else, taunting them daily. Even the strongest and most skilled of other men dared not face the giant due to the reenforced humiliation of anyone who thought they could best the giant. He was merciless and surely his size might block out the sun. His arms hung like oak trees time had long forgotten. His bolder like fists had smashed all contendors until a tiny boy stood in his shadow and glared up at him. Sure it looked so insane that even the giant laughed. Of course, everyone else under the bully's influence always laughs along with them while trembling in fear that their laughter is not loud enought for their self-proclaimed conquerer. Three stones later everyone coughed from the rise of the dust and the thud of what towered before well over them. Pardon my paraphrase; but you get the idea.

There are certainly many million-dollar companies that tower over we little people, whether it's entertainment, insurance, financial or housing giants. For many years, they have had their way with us often. We pay premiums almost with a gratitude for the privilidge in exchange for some often false security. When its all said and done, it's about business and business equals profits. I suspect the common man has wised up to the obvious evidence that company loyalties arent what they used to be. In a time when handshakes and eye contact is practically forbidden and easily masquaraded as sincere, folk's first inclination is to mistrust. They've been burned before — and that's before the last time after the time before. Big companies have ruled the landscape of America with iron fists, pummeling its infants who might dare raise their eyes into the sun.

Then came the social medias! It appeared totally geeked-out and harmless at its dawning. But the morning got brighter by the hour and its power has become blinding. I came across this story by accident and it struck a cord with me. Being over forty years old, one has a bit of space to look back over and note change with remember whens. I particularly noted this line,

You don’t get to play by the old rules any more, and it doesn’t matter what business you’re in. You don’t get the old privilege of anonymity. You don’t get to bury your story on page 47.

There is no more page 47. Every story is somebody’s page 1. more...

Perhaps normal man has found his/her superhuman strength pill. Perhaps we can all become supermen and women. Perhaps we can truely make a difference as a single voice in the face of giants. On the other hand, if we're all the same, will we not be back in the same boat? Does the revolutionary not always live long enough to become tomorrow's dictator? The power of the circle cycle is overwhelming. In fact, it's odd how normal it stays; but always with the promise of change.

!!!
M

Why Stars Burn So Brightly and You Love It

2009-07-22T15:46:00.003-05:00

Make a wish upon a falling star! They cast a beautiful glow packed with rich color and dazzling visuals any Hollywood studio could be proud of replicating. They blind us with "other worldiness" and bewilderment as they enter our meager atmosphere. We can dream up any sinareo about who, what and where it travels from; but the point of impact, if it survives to reach the earth, is unmistakeably human. Yes, only human — flawed, frail and broken like all the rest of us incapable of escaping our impact with death and taxes.

Chaos can be beautiful, but it is also impossible to control. Flames are intoxicating, and they burn without discrimination. It’s all about striking balance, even though it’s more fun not to. To forget that rule is to run the risk of being devoured, because energy first and foremost feeds.

This podcast is spawned by a conversation with my cohort, the Pensive referring to one of those subjects that keeps returning in different forms but always ending the same manner. The revolutionist always seem to live long enough to become the establishment they were fighting against. The longer you live, the more you are inclined that there be some rules that everyone abides by...some level of "common descency" i.e. families are off limits, churches are sacred ground, etc. Sure everyone would love to blame someone else but in the end, the reflection in the mirror must bear some of the smear of the state of society. Afterall....without the demand, the supply would deminish or better.

Anywhoooo...back to the train track. The chaos of the plummet is beautiful in all its radiant color and shrapnel with a glowing troup of other falling pebbles ( or "ticks" if you read my previous blog.) It only takes a few moments to think of "stars" that have fallen in some form or another; not to mention politicians and religious figures. People are not much different from children, they can be quite cruel...afterall where else would children get it. But we tend to really enjoy the spectacle of the fall when this "once water-walking" icon has really spouted some form of financial, religious or moral superiority or lack of understanding the plight of the less fortunate. Oh wait, I'm being too generous, we love a train wreck regardless. Stardom is a beautiful thing but its the fall that is the true performance that we tend to tune into primetime to witness.

The energy is a hard thing for some to grasp. How do you walk away from oceans of people calling your name and spending their money, time and energy to be in your presence? How does a gladiator leave the collesium and be exiled to grow flowers in some discarded/less viewed dimly lit stage after all the previous performance spoils? Oh yeah, there's spoils, lots of them; more than you could ever imagine. Access has privilidges surrounded by steel bars. Sure we would all love to sit in judgement or have a late night comedy show that we can safely crack jokes casually about someone else's chaos and dismay. The camera has no sympathies and it drains any existing mercies from its wielder. That's entertainment folks!!! Not the money, but the love of it; that's the true dictator of our souls. Why we pretend otherwise is just another side effect of being human, contaminated from birth.

I have never met anyone who could leave the glory days in peace. The energy is unmistakeable and there are no substitues. The energy, the chaos and the hunger are all brothers; all mortally bonded. I can only say make a wish upon a falling star in the night sky and wish twice if it's in the daytime. Perhaps you should also give thanks for not being that star. Stars fall with terminal velocity generating fire, heat and chaos. Look out belooooooowwwwww!!!!!!!

!!!
M

Eventually the ticks on the dog win!

2009-07-21T10:19:00.001-05:00

Ticks, they're tiny and you might not even notice them at most glances. Whether the dog aquires the ticks or the ticks seek them out; their encounter typically occurs while in action toward something, i.e. the dog was on a mission. While going about its merry way or aimlessly meandering, the dog is typically unaware of the parasites that have hitched a ride.

But what of this parasite? Tick is the common name for the small arachnids in superfamily Ixodoidea that, along with other mites, constitute the Acarina. Ticks are ectoparasites (external parasites), living by hematophagy on the blood of mammals, birds, and occasionally reptiles and amphibians. Ticks are vectors of a number of diseases, including Lyme disease, Q fever, Colorado tick fever, tularemia, tick-borne relapsing fever, babesiosis, ehrlichiosis and Tick-borne meningoencephalitis, as well as anaplasmosis in cattle and canine jaundice.[1]

Young ticks have six legs, and mature ticks have eight legs. They vary in size and appearance depending on the species.

But what of a parasite? parasite (plural parasites)

1. (biology) A (generally undesirable) living organism that exists by stealing the resources produced/collected by another living organism.

Lice, fleas, ticks and mites are widely spread parasites.

2. (pejorative) A person who relies on other people's efforts and gives little back (originally a sycophant).

Parasites can remain invisible for only a select amount of time. They prey on the host which begins to add weight their bodies. This invisible rider can hang on for free so long as it remains small and insignificant. But like most parasites, their success is what does them in. They grow to monsterous sizes that threaten to become their own entity; proclaiming to have just as much or more power than their host. The gains from stealing along for the ride become hard to ignore. Success leaves a trail and adds some pounds.

It is easy to realize that success not only attracts parasites but might even be somewhat due to parasites as well. Clearly celebrities are no stranger to these organisms. Even the scandals of the day are somewhat due to parasites. They started out harmless and insignificant; small and non-existent in the host's view. Its always a matter of time before the parasites bleed dry the host once fat with power, glamour and success; casting them aside like an old cicada shedding, split and useless. Perhaps these parasites have robbed us of our financial illusions, rock stars and innocences. And alas, the dog is spent and the tick moves on to the next victim.

!!!
M

Not Our Hangover!

2009-07-13T14:50:00.000-05:00

The weekend is over again. What a very nice one it was. One of the greatest things in life is laughter. I personally believe if more folks spent time laughing they would probably live longer and better. I had a weekend that left my stomach sore from laughter. Thats is rare gift. Its just great for the soul.

We celebrated my BFFs 41st birthday Saturday. We went to see The Hangover. Of course I had to convice her that it was better than some romantic comedy...this time I won. That movie was rolling in the isles funny; but it really was maximized by being surrounded by the oddest combination of folks too. Behind us was a pretty girl who laughed like a horse -- of course which caused more laughter. To my right behind me were these two huge fat black guys (most have been brothers...same bone structure); ahead and down two rows to my right to older ladies (could have been more than just together--but it was hard to tell). Something got her funnybox tickled and she couldnt breath as her friend kept trying to make sure she wasnt choking; everything else was a strange mixture of mature folks, asians and geeks. Boy am I glad I didnt have popcorn; I might have choked too. Here's the plot:

While watching the film, it was hard not to think the film's plot could happen in reality. "The Hangover" is loosely based on a real story.
From the director of OLD SCHOOL comes a new comedy about a bachelor party gone horribly wrong.

Two days before his wedding, Doug (Justin Bartha) and his three buddies (Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis) drive to Vegas for a blow-out night they'll never forget. But when the three groomsmen wake up the next morning with pounding headaches, they can't remember a thing. Their posh hotel suite is beyond trashed and the groom is nowhere to be found.

With no clue of what happened and little time to spare, the trio must attempt to retrace their bad decisions from the night before in order to figure out where things went wrong and hopefully get Doug back to L.A. in time for his wedding. However, the more they begin to uncover, the more they realize just how much trouble they're really in.

This movie even has Mike Tyson making a singing debute! Worse than that, we like exactly the same part of Phil Collins' I Can Feel It Coming in the Air Tonite! Funny funny funny!!! While not probably as funny as Something About Mary, it would be really close to next in line. Later we had dinner at Logans Roadhouse...always good service and friends. Just as we were leaving, another friend walks in and joins us and we laugh for another 2.5 hours! It was bonkers. (luckily we didnt get thrown out, most of the folks I would have called were already there.)

Needless to say, it was a good time had by all. Very funny movie; not for kids or the tightly girded.

TRAILER: click and chuckle.

!!!
M

The worst of both bests: Fridaku!

2009-07-10T15:40:00.002-05:00

Suddenly its Friday all of a sudden. Ive had the ole nose to the stone and just beginning to see the light of day. Wow, what a week its been...and the ball of mud just keeps spinning. There are so many things to marvel about in the world and reflect upon the perfect order of the universe and the disorderly chaos of man. The media really does have most of the power when defined by the actual medium of media and not necessarily the press.

All the social networks have changed the balance of power in the world as we know it. Genocide can be seen even under the most hulking of tyranies in issolation. Like most things, there are pros and cons. Its odd that the freedom of speech might be so enslaving to our characters. What does one do when he/she has been publicly humiliated under false pretenses. I am always amazed how scandal can stay in the media for days if not months; but the retraction only appears once on page 13 burried deeply below the obituaries (figuratively speaking of course); but you know what I mean.

Great men/women are capable of great things — they are also equally capable of far worse. The universe appears to favor balance. There are very few folks I can think of that were "completely" good or didnt have their virtues offset by some deep dark vise(s). Balance seems like a natural law of being right down to a molecular level. Thus one might say, to be "completely" good is down right "alien" to us....

And last but not least, the Fidaku!

Life Seasons
Good, Bad, we all share;
Sunshine, rainfall and between;
Life requires it all.

!!!
M

Then Comes the Crazy......

2009-05-29T16:00:00.004-05:00

I was chatting with my cohort this morning and the subject of Sarah Palin, Jim Baker, Jessica Hawn, Koby Bryant, Bill Clinton.....and the long string of public indescrections...... The conversation was not about temptation but something far more sinister. There are those who superseed temptation which self-vidgelence must be at omniplay. They are those who communicate in pure binary code with the secret cheat codes from the manufacturer. They are those so aware of the raw essence of a thing that they over-ride mental conscent, walk through and even go undetected by all the normal safeguards a person might put up or fortify themselves against. If the guard on the tower is instructed to watch out for the guy with horns, he may be easily allow to pass the baby hiding a gun. That is to say that some of life's ugly things are wrapped in beautiful packages. Land mines are shiny until they explode. Our culture demands it define the ideals and what beauty resembles. With shows like "What NOT to Wear," one might easily be confronted with not being up to speed. With realization comes the struggle to yeild or defend. Our first response is always one of "but this is who I am" or "its just my style." Either direction is admirable if it is arrived at through self reality vs someone else's perception or urgings. As one of my pastors often says, "if I talk you into it, somebody else will just come along and talk you out of it." Thus it is beyond public approval to take the road less traveled. One might argue that without our minds, we might be better off; but isn't Hulu taking care of that?

I use these extreme examples because the truth is just as extreme. If you are or have a defined enemy, you easily overlook the unimagineable standing right next to you. I am not sure we can afford to always play nice; especially when the enemy has no rules.... Should the US not torture? Should we really close Guantanimo? IF we let in the little things, what do they bring with them? What eggs have been lain in their bellies? We easily reply, "ah that was just a little.....was it really? If it was, would we be having this conversation now?

Ahh...beware the little foxes.......

Why are "we" always suprised when things turn crazy? Really, nothing is forever. Whom with any common sense would mix guns, alcohol and witnesses? Isnt it amazing the things that we think we need laws for/against? WHY cant enough be enough before it gets crazy? Are we all a little psycho waiting to happen?

!!!
M

The Odd Thursday Reflections

2009-05-07T09:59:00.003-05:00

Its a sunny cloudy Thursday and its gonna be an odd one. I havent blogged in some time and not for any real reason other than most thoughts have been turned inside. There are a lot of things going on. My house was hit by the Murfreesboro tornado a month ago and Allstate insurance is telling me its good hands are closed or not that open. Mother's Day coming but she's not here; so its a day I can do without now. Car repairs, recession, brothers and sisters, and the continued improvement of what isnt all require more money. In the end, its all good. I'm a survivor regardless of how much I dont want to be. In the end, I come out on top no matter how much mud and crap I have to crawl through. Sometimes it seems like a cruel joke to keep surviving. Eagles tied too close to the ground but not willing to defy fate..... Its always unfortunate when the lightning doesnt strike you directly; save the trees, I'm standing still.

!!!
M

Regeneration

2009-05-01T15:32:00.000-05:00

In the end is always the essence of the beginning again. I often wonder how many times the world has been restarted. Perhaps the earth must "shave it beard" every couple of hundred thousand years. The end rarely is a good thing; nor does it typically come in terms of a peaceful resolution. The end doesnt drive up in a pretty pristene car but a broken down rusted ole jalopy; long from good care and laboring every last breath from the rotation of its tires. Typically we as humans hate change and resist it with all our might. Sometimes if we embrace change, changing back can be easier. I akin that to watching parents then one day seeing yourself like them or you in them....you get my drift. Its always funny when you hear yourself and your mind clicks play to replay what you've heard them say for years. That is always followed by the thought, "you sound just like..." which is then followed by an uncomfortable grin. An apple can never hope to be a peach and grapes are restricted to vines without the opportunity to hang from trees. The universe has its natural order predestined by God or the "creator of your choice/reality."

The View from Above

2009-04-21T14:49:00.001-05:00

You would be amazed but more likely disgused by what you see when no one thinks you are looking. The recent Dominos prank created by two kids who were "not serious" are receiving a VERY serious response from the company. WHY?, the nonchalant might ask. Its about brand trust, its about freedom of speech in a digital age where the fences are made of toilet paper. In the era of youtube, myspace, google and facebook, power of the people has never been more easily available or misuseable. At what point does ones opinion on a personal blog become a public deframation or obsenity?

When lines are drawn, there's always another drawn two feet from it. It is human to just want to rebel or go one step farther? I dont know. I do know there is always a point of too far; often not discovered until you arrive at that location. Unfortuantely with no lines, we all become mud-covered. At first that seems ok until you realize it corrupts everything around you. Beautiful white curtains dont blow in the wind when they're drenched in mud.

However do big companies have the same right to get bailed out AND turn around and raise your credit card interest rates or banking fees or electricity rates?? Really?

I heard an interesting debate about handguns in public restaurants/establishments. Part of the pro argument was that criminals dont follow the law; so law abiding citizens would have the right to defend themselves in the event of an emergency. Add a little or a lot; but lets also throw alcohol into the mix....see a pattern developing.

If I can sue for coffee being hot; eventually I can sue for alcohol being too strong, for dresses being too short, for air being too polluted, for stuffed animals named after religious figures etc. The line in the sand keeps moving......

I guess you can argue anything from the right perspective. When you look at it from above, idealism is pretty nice. When someone has your family, child, partner, mate, reputation or career hostage; those "ideals" get a free suspension from counting. Its for "those" people; not me. Funny how that works; but it keeps working. You might notice that wars are rarely fought by the person who declares them..... I'm just sayin'....

!!!
M

Tuesday Bizarre!!!

2009-04-14T10:19:00.002-05:00

I would be the first to ask, "why make art that only says one thing?" Why paint an image that can only be viewed from one perspective? Dare I declare ART is much more; much as life....much, much, more! In league with my pensive cohort...it has been an odd Tuesday and thus demands some tribute to its passing. Today I (we) look at the beauty of the bizarres....no more words will be required.

"THE SHIP OF FOOLS" by Hieronymus Bosch
HIERONYMUS BOSCH BIOGRAPHY
1450-1516
Hieronymus Bosch is the genius Netherlander Painter, born in 1450. Bosch's paintings combined irreverent and grotesque images, fantasy, freaks, devils, and bizarre symbolism to depict corruption, indulgence, religious hypocrisy and human greed. "The Ship of Fools" c. 1500 (above), is based on German writer Sebastian Brant's work "Das Narrenschiff"- an allegorical poem about human folly of lazy, greedy, useless people on a ship going no where and led by no one.

by Fred Einaudi

A bizarre but fascinating blend of eroticism and war in the paintings of Hu Ming."

To say that Salvador Dali was an amazing Spanish artist and painter, actually means to say almost nothing. He was fantastic, he was charming, he was magnificent. He belongs to one of the brightest surrealists ever.

!!!
M

Next in line...

2009-04-02T23:51:00.002-05:00

If you have ever been to the local gas station at lunch time and there's a line. Typically there is someone ahead that's telling their life story to an audience that really doesn't care. It's like piped in music or being forced to listen to someone's cellphone conversation who is standing in line with you but somewhere else. (that's some major annoying; but that's another blog) Anyway, there's that feeling of relief when you realize or its obvious that you are next in line. We love being next in line!

I have five brothers and sisters and chances are that you do too. I had the privlidge of being the oldest. The reason I make that point is often in middle or low income families, things get passed down to whomever is next in line. I was looking at my father. He had three brothers and one sister. The issue: the older before him passed. The resulting thought spinoff: I guess I "theoretically" first to grave. I'm first in line; can't change the order of that. I think of those
standing in line behind me. In hopes of leaving a good example of "being in line," one's mind is forced to ponder.

Am I excited about being next in line to the coffin?
What freaks folks out about death? the fear/question of what's next?
Am I terrified of the unknown or the next episode?
Shall we go quietly into the night/dawn or shall be fall kicking and screaming, trying to stop the inevitable?

I watched my father at his big brother's funeral wondering what he was wondering. Yes, the sadness, but then there was more behind his eyes, behind his stares, behind his silence. I feel like the realization of the coming or the its my turn next realization. I could only image the years of memories that play back through ones mind trying to bet back to the present, littered with smiles and sobs. Isn't life the short narrow corridor to the great room after the doorfacing of death?

!!!
M

The Knowing of Knowing....

2009-03-23T14:29:00.008-05:00

Here below the first preview clip of knowing, directed Alex Proyas and starring Nicolas Cage and Rose Byrne:

I saw a good movie with my BFF this weekend. Knowing with Nicholas Cage was a bit more than I bargained for. Thank goodness it exceeded my expectations and then some. But thats not what this blog is about. Its more about the gifts we receive as mortals from somewhere else and why we think that entitles us to certain privilidges.

In this case, we will explore the gift of prophesy. If we could know the future; does that entitle us the right to be able to change it? Or do we just get to know for the sake of knowing and the concilliation that something/one is willing to communicate with us? Why do we always assume that we were chosen to change what we are allowed to see/know? There are several TV shows that walk along the lines of having this special knowledge and the added twists from trying to alter what is supposed to happen; etc. The Sarah Connor Chronicles,Medium, The Ghost Whisperer, Heroes, Life on Mars and Eli Stone, just to name a few. We won't even mention the noteables from history that are still talked about today for their predictions and ideas. Hence; if we can see it but not change it, is it really a gift or a cruel curse like the taunting of a pet outside the glass of a butcher's glass?

We are enraptured with these knowledges and the communion with the "something else." In fact, recently even the Roman Catholic Church has come out and pronounced that the existence of aliens doesn't negate the story of the Christ. Now that's an odd statement to be making....

Of course, who could truely ignore the book of Revelations! Are our
"gifts" only defined by our comforts or controls? Are gifts only good
if we like them? Does our lack of gratitude employ the universe to
pass them to someone else more grateful?

!!!
M

Stolen Glances

2009-03-20T12:51:00.004-05:00

IF I stole a glance, would my eyes have missed a vision or gained a sight? The question seems simple on the surface like an earthworm or snail crawling over the sharp edge of shattered glass effortlessly. Speaking of which; I would love to be able to overlook offenses just as easily, which we all know is a bit more difficult doing than saying, like most things. A glance is a brief or cursory look and/or a quick look at a person, place, event or thing. What's really stolen versus given away? We communicate so much even with so little. In the instant of a blink or wink; we can speak volumes to ourselves, about
ourselves or others. We do it without even being aware or even intending to sometimes. Some have made a science and/or career of it, reading expressions.

One of our new shows, Lie To Me. which is on FOX of course, has some very startling observations that are satiricly lain over current and past events to validate the ficticious storylines. This team of folks basicly read "micro-expressions" which are apparently universal regardless of age, sex, race or demographic identities. It is as fascinating as alarming. One might even question the cat being let out of the bag or the wisdom in opening Pandora'sbox.

As with most things, the more you reveal about it, the more it reveals about you. If you peer into the heart of a thing, it most likely looks back. Your eyes can keep secrets from you. Dark secrets always return in the form of Light explosions. The transition from dark to light is always violent; mostly because it involves war either way. Water converted to steam is not a peaceful surrender; it is by an element of no return, a line drawn in the sand, if you will....too hot or cold to remain the same. People are no different. Our transitions between states are typically by force; by a war won or lost, though we might claim volition.

Thus I return to my original questions:
IF I stole a glance, would my eyes have missed a vision or gained a sight?
What's really stolen versus given away?
Is a stolen glance taking from the viewer or the viewed?

They say the eyes don't lie; but those words are spoken by the
tongue, not the eye....

!!!
M

Suffocating Inside

2009-03-02T15:48:00.000-06:00

It would seem strange that the older we become the more we become child-like. IT is unfortunate that most of our dreams and childlike innocences have been trapped below, somewhere deep inside us like suffocating dreams that are pale as a new moon. Those dreams havent seen the light of day since our teen years were forced from us. Time, reality and responsibility hold us captive til we are forced again to return to a child-state but far less illusioned. The child typically returning at an older age is far more bitter.

It is for that reason I am encouraged and thrilled to see some HAPPY OLD PEOPLE. They do exist and since they do; I at least have a shot or an example to hope for when the inner me gets out again. The child has the keys to magic; even if the adult refuses to turn the lock. We are blinded by the lessons of time and life; the child doesnt know any better. There's no room in the real world for big babies....only grumpy old humans once something else.

!!!
M

Walk The Line

2009-02-20T12:12:00.002-06:00

I have always loved this poster since the first time I saw it. The design is great, the colors are perfect and it has a unified balance that goes without saying. I met the man in black once as a kid; I was touched by his politeness. Walk the Line; what a movie, crammed with some real soul-stalking songs.

Johnny Cash Lyrics

What a great song! It reminds me of Randy Travis, "On the Other Hand" a little. What is the mystical power that draws the moth to the flame? Would the light not be the light without what it does? Could the moth remain as such if it couldnt be drawn to the flame? As sure as the flames destroy; do they not also liberate? Does the light also blight out our sight? Too many moths put out the flame; you can think about that any way you choose. The divorce rate will back that one up.

For the few and the proud, there's a war going on every day. Its at its worst when the clammor of armor and stench of blood are not present; when no danger is apparent and the sun is strong in the sky while the birds frolic carefree overhead. There really are very few "downtimes" public or private; awake or asleep. If you walk the line, will its edge eventaully slice you in half? Will what draws you also kill you?
!!!
M

Failure Required: How Long?

2009-02-16T13:55:00.000-06:00

"You can tell a man is clever by his answers. You can tell he is wise by his questions." --Naguib Mahfouz, Egyptian Nobel Laureate

Its a chilly Monday in breezy Nashville. The BatTower casts a cold shadow on my window. The only thing more chilling is the nirvana digging through my cortex by way of my ears. With iPOD well engaged, I listen to a podcast that is well worth your attention. I found it quite by accident, as usual; but there are really no accidents. Today's podcast Cultivate Life! that I am listening to is about asking questions and seeking to understand instead of insisting being understood. Today I am curious about the wisdom and value of failure. I saw another one of those infomercials that I thought about trying but logic and probably fear talked me out of it....besides I've tried a million. I admit that most schemes DO work for other people; they do NOT typically work for me. It is odd that we always issolate ourselves into being something different when in actuality we are all quite the same. Questions expand our thinking, living and understanding of ourselves and our world; maybe that is what scares us so much about them.

We must not pretend to be anyone else but ourselves. Abandon ego but never your integrity. Ego is about what others think; intergrity is about faithfulness to oneself and ability. Failure is the opportunity to begin again.
Cultivate Life!

Feed your mind and become a fathead!
!!!
M

The Devils Gothic

2009-02-11T14:47:00.001-06:00

There are upsides to a pitchfork!

Down through time, pitchforks have become a symbol of american hard work, country icons, living off the land, living in BFE, art images and the end result of disagreements. Typically constructed of a handle and an iron forked tip of several prongs, these handy devices have helped separate the wheat from the chafe.

Chances are that if someone is directing a pitchfork at you; indications are pretty severe! I have rarely seen an incident that both parties weren't clued in on what the pitchfork was for or why it was being employed. Needless to say, when on the non-business end; run first, ask questions later .... from a safe distance. If you have actually used one, then you know how effective this great tool can be to accomplishing its task. Speaking of an efficeint tool...I wonder if thats why the Devil carries one?

!!!
M

Eating Lunch Dead

2009-02-03T14:42:00.000-06:00

some things dont mix; but they do go together...

Well its been a busy Tuesday inside with razorblade wind outside. I took my lunch not knowing in advance where I might end up. Not that thats unusual; I'm just saying. I ended up at one of my favorite places that lives up to its name. No, I'm not a health food nut; so don't get to getting any ideas. I went to Hardees! Tis true: "The last place you would go for a burger is now the only place you'd go!" (shameless plug) I had a double thickburger with NO onions, fries and a lemonade (no not diet). I am always impressed when the bag leaves the drive thru window persons hand and my hand drops from the weight of the bag. Today was no different. Hardees does such a fantastic job of wrapping their beautiful meat...its car friendly from open the container...half wrapped with the bottom sealed; perfect for lifting with one hand (depending on the size of the hand) while driving. My mouth was already salivating at the order station. Now it was only worse as I sank my teeth down into those double patties, lettuce and tomato. I felt the ketchup draw a line at the close of my lips. Mmmmmmmm. I was coasting along moaning with pleasure as I looked over at the car beside me to make sure I hadnt forgotten to stay in my lane. The guy in the hearst nodded at my enjoyment from the massive burger.

That caused a short pause as I grinned while continuing to chew. A hearst??? Really? He was eating too; but the irony or oddity struck me. He's eating in a hearst!!! But why wouldnt he? He must have a lunch break too. I wonder if he's like some police; he gets his food free? I was slightly confused. Remembering the habit of stopping to let funeral parties pass, I didnt know whether to keep chewing or stop. I glanced again as he took a drink from a strawed cup and laughed at myself. I knew this would be a blog later. We have some respectful customs when it comes to the dead and the vehicles/items that surround that topic.

I typically see a funeral go by the office at least 3 times a day. Once I asked the coworkers if it was disrespectful NOT to get out and also stop your spinners when a funeral goes by. I see the homeless stop and watch the line of cars with some respect of the dead by taking off a hat or halting a slow mid-street crossing. So if everything should stop; is it the only time some of us get any respect? Everybody gets their 15 minutes of fame; hopefully its not your last fifteen. Since I love CSI, I notice they often have somone's chest opened up while reaching for lunch. Maybe its just what were used to or acclimated to seeing that it just becomes the familiar...not spooky or sad; just numb. It never fails we are having pizza when CSI or ER comes on and my wifey whinces. I guess its probably wrong that it makes me laugh or try to get her to look back before the scene changes...afterall; isnt that reality. We are only smooth and covered when we choose. Accidents and mortality remind us we arent nearly as dignified as we would pretend.

Salu hearst man; enjoy your lunch.
!!!
M

The ZOMBIES Inside Us

2009-01-30T14:48:00.002-06:00

The story of them has lasted for some many decades. Zombies are a part of our pop culture. Everybody knows about zombies but just in case:

zombie or zombi

Noun: pl -bies or -bis
1. a person who appears to be lifeless, apathetic, or totally lacking in independent judgment
2. a corpse brought to life by witchcraft [W African zumbi good-luck fetish]

We tend to be fascinated by legends and tales of the supernatural/horror. Its no wonder that some of the most talked about people in history, more infamous than famous, are those whose thinking we cannot fathom. What thinking person could inflict so much pain and destruction on another living being with such disregard? None but the monsters!

So why do we love zombies?
1. They're dead--so it cant get any worse. I couldnt possibly hurt anymore.
2. They're alive; well sorta. They seem to need to feed on "living" human brains. So you get to be the worst of yourself but still have the freedom of movement...not to mention maintain a healthy appetite without fear of weight gain.
3. They only have a single focused purpose...keep looking for more brains to eat. How much simplier could life get? No bills, no kids, no responsibilities, no beauty queens sneering at your thighs, no men always after you, modesty irrelevant including showers and deodorant or dental hygine. The moralities go out the window -- you're already dead!

Perhaps death is the last freedom. Perhaps death is the last enslavement. Either way, zombies get the best of both worlds. I suspect our subconsciences realize that odd observation. In a world without consequence; there would be no monsters; just people.... We all want to be zombies; we just refuse to die first.

!!!
M

Get Excited and Bottle IT! Snowballs of truth.

2009-01-28T10:35:00.001-06:00

Its Wednesday and the snow is beautiful here in the capital of Country Music. Its so hypnotic to watch the huge flakes leak from the cool grey sky. The flakes smash into the ground and windows and disappear into water streaming toward gravity's proclivities. Sometimes I wonder if were in one of those snow globes and something we cant image is watching and shaking us up for amusement. The thing about snowglobes is that the main part is glued in place and seems very solid amidst the shaking that makes the snow storm begin. But if we are so sure we're anchored to the bottom of the globe securely, why do we freak out when the storm comes? Why do we doubt the passing of the storm? Why do we think the world is coming to an immediate end? Its just the snow globe. The snow passes ...it settles. Why cant we just be excited at a temporary agitation?

!!!
M

Isnt ONLY english still confusing?

2009-01-22T14:47:00.004-06:00

We seem pretty focused on some official law that declares ENGLISH ONLY in TN. They
say that will just make everything simplier and less confusing. Others say, if you're here;
then you should learn the language. This one will appear to last as long as the abortion debate....
!!!
M

The Perfection of The Irregular

2009-01-13T14:51:00.001-06:00

It has taken me almost 40+ years to comprehend and even at that, I'm not sure I like the revelation.
The reason we dont have perfection is because WE dont like to be bored.
Even more terrifying is that we are formed in the images of something far greater
that has the same distaste for the dissimilar. Look at all the different people
around you and then add in all their different ways and circumstances.
Thats gotta be a whole lotta load of irregularity for somebody to be often
very amused. So why should we be so alarmed to discover the person
next to us isnt anything like us at all or maybe terrifyingly similar?
Perhaps some might even say we are ...A Series of Atmospheres...";
all uniquely different and uniquely the same. Only pensiveness remains when
logic exhausts the solutions.

!!!
M

Ironyman Strikes Again!

2009-01-12T13:24:00.003-06:00

Well, as a precious few of you may know, I was struck by misfortune recently. My car had its windows smashed at my office parking lot. I was one of three vehicles vandalized. The bright side of it all is that mine had an alarm that went off and prevented more break-ins right at the lunch hour. The bad side is that mine was the last one he got to before being wrestled to the ground. As a creature of habit, I pretty much do things like I always do and occassionally change up just to mess with folks who think they know me.

Here's the irony in all its glory! I typically park in an unfenced open parking lot and walk over to the office. This particular morning I was EARLY and it wasnt open yet so I parked in the FENCED parking lot. In theory, you would think someone LESS likely to go inside a fenced area directly behind the building to break in at lunch time. In addition, true genius wouldn't wait til lunch time to break in since people might be coming out then.

Never underestimate the value of duct tape. NOW I will always carry duct tape ALONG with a camera in my vehicle. Don't get wrapped up in stupid; duct tape isnt magic but its powerful strong!!!

!!!
M

Woman's Man's Name for Girls

2009-01-08T13:38:00.000-06:00

I have worked in many situations but few as educational or entertaining as being surrounded by women. As one of 5 men in 250, it doesnt take long to learn way more than you need to know. There are some STRONG differences between men and women when it comes to biology and information. I am always amazed how a group of women can all end up on the same cycle after being around each other. Thats not a male problem (well, not immediately). Men dont need to go to the bathroom together or even care that you went. Men dont need to care or feel the requirement to share. We tend to just like the facts — who needs an essay when yes says everything you wanted to communicate.

Anywho, you may not be aware of it and I wasnt the first time I heard it. There's this guy FRED who shows up with some announcement and processional wearing little pointy shoes that curl at the toes into funny elfish half circles and a long narrow horn that he proudly toots. Allegedly he visists every month. I heard the announcement many times and would always turn to look when I heard them announcing FRED. As one of five, none of us were named FRED. I knew most of the vendors and contacts...no FRED there either. So how is it "they" all knew FRED and talked so intensely of him? So I asked. Yeah that day stands out in a hall of memories. You could've heard a pin drop before the roar of girl snickles.

FRED!!!! You name your cycles FRED!!??? Thats a man's name, a retail outlet, etc. Why FRED; what did FRED ever do for or to you? Women are funny.
Isn't it odd you would name something ONLY female a male name. I could at least understand the name ADAM....

!!!

Happy New Year!!!

2008-12-31T15:53:00.006-06:00

The best is yet to come! So is the worst...but it all works out in the end. 2008 is almost over
and its time to think of the future and brighter days.

Nothing personal, I just like it better my way!

HOT ANGELS!

Don't Talk to Strangers

2008-12-22T12:33:00.000-06:00

I was watching this movie Transsiberean and I heard this quote that was riveting. After a quick googling, I found that the quote is from .Tennessee Williams, "Kill all my demons and the angels might die too." I have heard his name but not read any of his literature. I may have to rethink that in the future. Meanwhile, what a quote! Is it possible that the fate of angels is tied to the fate of demons? If you prove the existence of one, does it not validate the other. Is man human without his inhumane ways?

!!!
M

Villian Truths

2008-12-19T13:31:00.004-06:00

There are some things that you just have to appreciate. Some of those things are things that we may miss from the casual glance. Even with the villians in our lives, there are things we overlook. Most really good villians are basicly "good people." They just have these little ticks that set them off. You know some of these folks. You work with them, you see them at family reunions or they may even be lying next to you at some point. The best villian is one that doesnt realize they are such. The most dangerous ones are the ones that do. I think the ultimate villian of the believer, casual or serious, has some very strong qualities.

Villians study! Villians study their prey. They watch who, what, when and where you go. They note what your dislikes and loves are. They even go through your "garbage" to find what you really like. The mark of a good villian is a bit of dirt about the cuffs. Villians are not lazy people...which brings me to my next point.

Villians are committed! The problem with most of us "good folks," aside from our laziness, we just arent really that committed. The first little obstacle is a sign that "we're on the wrong path." We look for an easier way. The villian lets nothing separate them from the original goal. Its that "by any means necessary" creed that the villian abides by that always leads them "to the victor go the spoils" lifestyle. It easier to be committed by less rules; but they're not ruleless. Isnt that ironic...the honor among thieves/villians. Commitment defies anything that stands in the way. That gets me to the last point....

Persistence! The villian doesnt give up. It doesnt matter how long it takes. They study, commit and persist until the goal is achieved. Those are some of the things I admire about villians. Occassionally they have to invent something new; but for the most part, all the old stuff works so well and so effectively that theres no need to bother. Victory is inevitable. That is the same vigor we must approach the present economic crisis...hard choices, tough calls and a belt tight enuf to choke a tick for clear results to reboost and energize our limping country.

Click Here!Click Here!

!!!
M

Cloned Disasters: Our Ugly Parts

2008-12-17T15:22:00.000-06:00

Every night you turn on the news, its the same old story...dow jones plummeted, such and such filed bankruptcy and/or so and so laid off x number of people. True, its a tough time and no amount of positive thinking or pretending its not true will distract you from the reality that this is not utopia. People are spending less, people are holding on to more, and yes, sales are down. That typically means that generocity is also down. I watch the food banks and other charities cry for more help in an economy that isnt helping that many people. Ironicly, most of the big CEOs involved in the housing and financial disasters are keeping their jobs and asking the government for more. If I had any doubts before about Bob Corker, they're gone now. He would appear to be the most if not only common sense person around. Yes, a lot of people are probably going to lose their jobs in the auto industry, but why give the money to people who clearly have mismanaged the money they previously had the responsibility for the pensions and purse-strings. Why shouldnt we expect to see a clear plan of action, improvement or change before giving away the American taxpayers wellbeing? Why cant we expect some level of competency from CEOs beyond "it was a tough year and we did not anticipate this ..." I know that that doesnt work with my bill collectors!

With all that said, YES, things are going to get better and we'll mostly be fine again. Understand that it will get a lot worse before it get better; but it will get better. I read several stories about newspapers who have gone out of business after surviving "the digital age." And the poor Illinois governor....please. Get out of the way. Politics as usual isnt going to be able to rescue this mess. The good ole boys club has a serious black eye and all the Robin Leaches are running for cover. He who blames last gets blamed. In the end, it will require some pulling together as all the conventional means fail. In the end, the greatest force is love. I am sure we are never comfortable with what that looks like or what form it may take. There would be much about "redefinition" in the air these days. The folks I feel for the most are the ones who spent their youth saving and working only to discover someone with a bigger house squandered it all away on their greedy watch. Sure, some of us dont care or only have sympathy because right now, at least, its not us. As my iPOD hums away and my fingers continue their akimbo stance on the keyboards, the words of this song in my eardrums seems prophetic and maybe even haunting.

Love Comes Running Up That Hill
It doesn’t hurt me.
You want to feel, how it feels?
You want to know, know that it doesn’t hurt me?
You want to hear about the deal I’m making.
You, (If I only could, be running up that hill)
You and me (If I only could, be running up that hill)

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
Get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could ...more...

And another siren goes by, screaming into the cold outside my window as Wednesday comes to a close. I cant wait to see the news tonite.

!!!
M

Petting Zoo: Do NOT Feed the Animals

2008-12-11T15:56:00.001-06:00

Everything is easier with instructions...well assuming they are written in laymans terms. Now I would be the first to admit that for the most part, if its not rocket science, I just tear right into a thing and assume that I can do it without reading the instructions. After 40 plus years of reading the directions after I find one extra screw or worse, there's always that one phrase that sticks out. It goes, Before doing anything else,... Which is to say that it is possible that everything else you did might have worked if you had done this one thing first. But (Palin wink), we know thats not really the case; only our wildest intrusions of pride, nothing more.

Life would be a lot easier if people came with instructions. How thick would that book be? Might even be just one or two pages. Growing up one of six, there were many times things happened that made no sense. I am suprised that my traps and delts arent huge from shrugging "I dont know" a million times a day. There are plenty of kids having kids and that is often before they're even legal or married or in love. I am amazed how blissful childhood is when someone else always does the worrying for you. How simple life and its tough decisions are when your biggest fears are if the New Kids on The Block will break up.

I heard a horrific story on the news last night in Putnam County regarding a young couple in which the man is behind bars, charged in the rape of his girlfriend's three-month-old baby boy. Instructions or no; some things are just wrong not only for the commission of the crime but for the mother who allowed this to happen if not watch. There's nothing more I will say about this except clearly there was a lack of good direction somewhere.

Either way you slice it, with or without directions, there were some things I knew I was gonna get a switch for and other things not even worth finding out what might happen. Instructions help only if you're reading AND using them. Parents cant do it all; the community helps too. Lastly, kids, like it or not, have their part which is "dictated" to them, not request "of" them like a McDonald Happy Meal or a Burger King "have it your way..." No school like the old school.

Prison of BLISS: PRISONBREAK

2008-12-10T13:56:00.001-06:00

There are some things in life that are pretty sure things...change, death, taxes and the human disposition to ordain chaos. Thats not a newsflash or a headline; but the captioned disclaimer under the birth certificate of every mortal. We war against ourselves from the first swap on the butt that makes us scream for air. Do this, dont do that, be this, not like that, avoid them, beware, etc. I have very early memories of mine and yours. I might argue that my persona came preinstalled. Any crib or playground being observed will support the struggle evolving at the knowledge of mine and yours. Sure, we would love to say that all our polically correct ideals are just how we are; but in truth, we know better. We spend our lives pretending to be who we want others to think we are with the waking fear that someone will discover the back of our trousers/dress is missing. We try to hide all the truely human aspects of our mortalities....everybody remembers that Elvis died on the can. If he had the choice, he would have changed the PR on that one to died on stage before a packed farewell tour. We discard our women as they age because irregardless of what we hold as an "advanced society" of morals; the currency of America or the world hasnt changed since the Dark Ages. I think I will let you figure that one out; but you may be sitting on the answer.

...do we only want out when we're in or because we're in...

Our nine-month captivity would be thought not nearly long enuf if we knew beforehand what leaving would demand. Perhaps air is over-rated. Amphibians might be the lucky ones...air or water. But forced out we are; even expelled, swatted for bad behavior and forced to live outside in the "other world." Thats long before the crown of thorns from society, media and religion are forced down onto our tender temples. Yes, we've been bleeding since day one...maybe before then. Perhaps it is only the female cycle that hints to us that though we bleed, we can still live. If we still live then we have another chance to war against ourselves tomorrow. But for now, this delicious skin is quite cozy and its got my name on it.

!!!
M

Haunted by Ourselves....

2008-12-04T13:48:00.000-06:00

I was talking with an old friend last nite as I sat in front of my computer screen listening to the rain falling on the roof outside. We go way back and he still lives in the town we went to highschool in. After catching me up on his life and some big decisions we joked about my return to that same town. We laughed briefly afterwhich; I admitted that I had considered it. That was shocking to both of us. Its a fair city but its full of ghosts for me. It would seem now that I'm not there that most were self inflicted hauntings probably brought on by my own inferiority complexes and not being comfortable in my own skin. Luckily all thats changed now (I think so at least). He spoke of a hello someone had passed along from our old highschool days. I laughed and replied that nobody ever talked to me in school...how does he even know who I am? Despite my silent ackwardnesses, I had been at least memorable. Not being a jock, musician or bad boy had its privlidges...solitude.

He had spent time telling his son what an incredible artist I had been. Indeed looking back, I suppose I was. He had requested that I draw something for his son. Of course I laughed. My response was buried in excuses and ramblings about how long I had even held just a pencil in my grasp for something other than writing out a bill or check. His response was of memories of things done at the drop of a hat that were long since dead or at best mummified beyond reanimation.

I dont know that I became who I ever meant to be. I dont know who I would be except me. I dont know what they saw then thats visible or invisible now. I do know, despite the ghosts, I am me. I am happy inside my skin...very. I do know that we daily make amends with the past even when its not in front of us anymore. Trace Adkins' song "You're Gonna Miss This" was on the radio on the commute in. It seems that I knew all the words. Yeah, I miss that. I'm gonna want that back, I'm gonna wish those days hadnt gone by so fast....but I'm working hard at enjoying every now while I'm in this moment; happy, thankful, joyful and always pondering...

!!!
M

Percolating Friday

2008-11-21T15:22:00.003-06:00

per·co·late (pûrk-lt)
Verb [-lating, -lated]
1. to pass or filter through very small holes: the light percolating through the stained-glass windows cast coloured patterns on the floor
2. to spread gradually: his theories percolated through the academic community
3. to make (coffee) or (of coffee) to be made in a percolator [Latin per- through + colare to strain]

This is a new idea that has happened upon a frosty chilled morning in Nashville on a Friday with very little action going on, very little demand on our time and very little to do other than this....coming up with something to do. I have read at least a hundred photoshop tutorials and they were great; but there has to be more. Now there is. Its "Percolating Friday." Its an idea that the The Pensive, It Depends and I will share in...so come on aboard; but let us know you're there or link.

Well this day has been a one that has passed slowly which frees up a lot of graymatter stagnation. What is there to notice, to think about, to consider.... Oh so much. I stare down at the homeless and wonder where they are going on a day, much less the coming night, like this. I see the old newspapers blow across the cold asphalt and wonder how long it actually takes to disintegrate. Al Gore probably knows.

I cant help but wonder with all the cars going by that have no idea I am watching them what they are wondering, what they are worried about, what they dont want anyone else to know. In the shadow of the Batman building, the light shimmers on all that is dark and the coldness keeps it from scampering away before I see it. These blogs that millions of people write and others read are the summation of thoughts, events, feelings and experiences that blow away in the winds of time just like the old newspapers. But yes, some hang around longer than others; i.e. The Constitution, The Bible, The Bill of Rights, etc. Democracy may be not very different than any of these "noble" writings that we attempt to live and govern our society by.

What lerks beneath the surface of mans heart. Look at what surrounds him, observe who he is when he doesnt have to be anyone, and yes, when he doesnt know you are looking. If God were being paid a salary, would he get overtime pay? Is there a "cosmic union" that says how many times he has to give us more chances or how many hours he has to delve out to certain groups? If the future were now; would yesterday have been any different? Where does a blog about percolation go? Anywhere it goes is where it is; isnt that what comes to the surface?

The only question remaining.... are we the coffee, the pot, the cup, the holes or the heat?

!!!
M

Some Funny Pun Maniac

2008-11-18T13:27:00.001-06:00

More Puns
submitted by Christ Holmes

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Banning the bra was a big flop.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

Crawling Out of What I See

2008-11-12T13:48:00.001-06:00

Sometimes you can find yourself captive in the mirror. No, not for those self adoring reasons; the other ones. Sometimes the reflection moves before you do, no longer willing to remain in synchronicity. Sometimes the perception is more real than the reality. Sometimes it can be difficult to know which one is a product of the other. Is the reflection the reflection?

Crawling out of one's self is a worthy ideal for anyone who hasnt taken the time to enjoy or become comfortable with themselves. Some do it before they are with someone else; others find themselves along the way with help from companions. It is said in old stories that the eyes are the gateways to the soul. Some have even said that our orafices are the gateways of the spirits. Why do you think people say "bless you" when you sneeze. Its like Ragu; its all in there. If you should be fortunate enuf to actually see yourself crawling out before your eyes, dont freak out. A gentle hello and warm cup of joe help ease the ackwardnesses. You might discover that you arent opposites but brothers or sisters. Someone else is quoted at "a strand of three cords is not easily broken..." You can become stronger if you are all working together; but that may be no small order. Sooner or later, everything must be taken captive. Sometimes you MUST trap yourself behind your perceptions; other times our perceptions trap us from who we are. You get to decide; but wonder who you are first...

!!!
M

Chicken Fest

2008-11-07T15:54:00.000-06:00

If our food could talk....

Is IT Friday Yet??!!!

2008-10-30T14:02:00.001-05:00

The taste of horrible is the flavor of your own mistakes.... Well its been a long time coming. You know when there's something lurking, tracking, hunting you from an unseen location. You know the attack is inevitable; every dog has his day. You do the best you can to minimize the damage; but yes, there will be damage. Today was mine. I knew it WAS coming; I just didnt know what. Either way, I will survive the gashes in my pride and solace to fight and elude another day while watching whomever is next after me as the soup de jour. It kinda makes me smile, the justice of the universe, the irreverance of the cosmos, the fairness of time. No hard feelings; just a bruised imperfect ego. Kay Se Rah Se Rah. I regret and delight in my imperfections....

!!!
M

15 Minutes of FAME

2008-10-27T15:41:00.001-05:00

They say everyone has their 15 minutes of fame. That fame then comes abruptly to a halt and the media spends another couple of months following that person trying to get it all back again. The silver spoon can only stay untarnished for so long; the buildup is toxic, just like the fall. I hardly hear anything about Vince Young anymore — the Titans are winning. No, I dont think anything bad of Vince...just a bad break. Kerry Collins is certainly making the most of his opportunity and everybody loves a winner. I still miss Steve McNair and Eddie George. They were the ones who ushered me into even caring about Tenneseee football that wasnt orange. There was just something about their hearts. Meanwhile, I am certain we have not heard or seen the last of Sarah Palin and she's just so darn cute. In the event you havent noticed, the camera loves her regardless of what happens in politics. Doesnt that just suck about pretty people....

What would you do for FAME?
How much more would you do to get it back?

!!!
M

Within Without

2008-10-24T14:44:00.003-05:00

Each of us has a hidden place
Somewhere deep within ourselves;
A place where we go to get away,
To think things through,
To be alone, to be ourselves.
This unique place, where we confront our deepest feelings,
Becomes a storehouse of all our hopes,
All our needs, all our dreams,
And even our unspoken fears.
It encompasses the essence of who we are and what we want to be.
But now and then, whether by chance or design,
Someone discovers a way into that place we thought was ours alone.
And we allow that person to see, to feel and to share
All the reason, all the uncertainty
And all the emotion we've stored up there.
That person adds new perspective to our hidden realm,
Then quietly settles down in his own corner of our special place,
Where a bit of himself will stay forever.
And we call that person a friend.

The story of ourselves is ours to serve to others and others to eat. We are jailed by our own fears of others perceptions and judgements of us. Who has the power to open our doors? Can we control that or are some people just destined to do so and we are but helpless victims in the face of destiny? Are our latches visible to others or only to the right ones? Perhaps anyone can turn the handle but only you can give the key....

!!!
M

Obama-Nation Presents: Palin With The Stars!

2008-10-23T15:33:00.002-05:00

Shakespeare said it best:

All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages. --- what does that mean?

Well you knew it was only a matter of time before these two got together. What better place than right before your very eyes Dancin' with the Stars! Face it, they're both pretty much stars at this point. I wonder which has the best foot work. I am sure we will know soon.

Politics is quite a stage. What a racket! At least no one is required to wear tights and a cape. Where else can you be everything and nothing all at the same time. Pro something Tuesday and against it Wednesday nite by 7p.m. If you could get just a penny for every political promise since Clinton, then you could see some real economic stimulus. Go back to Reagan and then we can even have some money at the end of the month! Now that's one penny a day that could really make a difference. Man the curtains, all media on deck. Let the music begin!

!!!
M

The sun is so bright behind me, I can't see what's in front of me!

2008-10-22T14:50:00.004-05:00

It was a really nice morning with the sunrise coming up in my rearview mirror.

Then I was blinded by the brightness glaring into my eyes from my rearview mirror and my side mirrors. Now, I have been accused of loving mirrors, which I cannot deny; but I also wont admit to either. They just happen to be there where I am. Anywhooo, I was struck by the paradox of the light behind me blinding my forward view. Hmmm...how can the light behind me blinding my path in front of me. I guess in actuality, it really isnt behind me, its in front of me because of the mirror's reflected light or the mirror, in spite of being a rearview, is still in front of me. The oddity is that the things from our past can still dishovel our presents or futures depending on how they're "reflected."

The image of ourselves with our reflections may be the truest image of us; our extremes are visible...

Which gets me to another important moment in thought. My Own Worst Enemy. Its not easy being two people, much less several. Since everybody wants to leave some mark of their existence, the painting can get pretty muddy pretty fast. Anywhooo, back to topic, My Own Worst Enemy — the scoop.

“MY OWN WORST ENEMY - Henry Spivey (Christian Slater, “Bobby”) is a middle-class efficiency expert living a humdrum life in the suburbs with a wife, two kids, a dog, and a minivan. Edward Albright is an operative who speaks 13 languages, runs a four-minute mile, and is trained to kill with his teeth. Henry and Edward are polar opposites who share only one thing in common -- the same body. When the carefully constructed wall between them breaks down, Henry and Edward are thrust into unfamiliar territory where each man is dangerously out of his element. “My Own Worst Enemy” explores the duality of a man who is literally pitted against himself. And it raises the question: who can you trust when you can't trust yourself? The series is produced by Universal Media Studios. Jason Smilovic (“Kidnapped”) is the executive producer; David Semel (director of the “American Dreams,” “Heroes” and “Life” pilots) is the director and executive producer. Watch a clip

I had my doubts that I would like the show despite immediately loving the premise. I still dont know that I will like it as much as Fringe; but its holding on well. "Who can you trust when you can't trust yourself?" Can you fight yourself and still win? Isnt it impossible to fight yourself if you are yourself; it never can be completely two entities, just a degree of the one. right? Much like the reflected light from behind; the actions of the past reach into the present and future. Slater is riveting. The show is brilliant! But then, so was William Shakespeare.... There are no new stories; just old ones disguised. But don't let that be a downer; people haven't changed much either....and we still LOVE to be entertained.

!!!
M

The Cost of Change: Essence of Temptation

2008-10-08T14:00:00.002-05:00

Its one of those things that leaves you puzzled sometimes, change. In this instance, change refers to the patterns of behaviors that we return to over and over. When its all said and done, nobody cares what you said til they see what you did....there is some wisdom in that. We are in an election year and despite watching the debate between two qualified candidates, I cant help but wonder how many times politicians have actually kept any of their promises; i.e. "no new taxes," "I did not have sexual relations with that woman," "I cannot tell a lie..." You get the idea. But who are we to judge; the general public. Would our lives withstand the same scruitny of politicians or ministers or public figures? "BUT they signed up for it," you rebuttle....they knew what would happen to their family and kids.... Who would want to be President and what kind of ego or personal belief would dictate such a grandeos ambition?

The Pensive, A. Standfield's recent blog entitled Looking Back concerning change comments the ability to change being incomplete or unreal if we continue to regress...hmmmm. ‘No change is permanent, but change is’…what think you, Maximus?) That must be some strong coffee...this is a great question. Some say "when in Rome...." My wife says when I am back in West Tennessee, I regress to talking "West Tennessee"....and some of you know the dialets of different Tennessee locations. But the question remains, if you can regress, did you actually change? What is change? Is change a moment, a decision, a lifestyle, or a landmark? Do you have people or places that make you someone else or who you are?

I think we enjoy the escape of being either who we really are or being able to escape who everyone else thinks we are. My oldest friends keep me grounded because they know who or how far or much I have changed and remain the same. It takes someone who knows enough history to be aware of one's location in life or maturity. There is a comfort in old friends to which nothing else compares. Have you changed? Or have you mastered projecting images?

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M

Drowning with Pirates: Illuminated Dark

2008-10-01T14:20:00.002-05:00

Here sits Wednesday, full of sunshine and the promise of Fall. The blueness of the sky screams Carribean but this is only Nashville. My head feels a little stuffy but otherwise, I feel great! I had one of those really strange dreams last night that probably means more than I want it to. The dream:

The entire scene was night black, illuminated only by the crests of the rippling water and a full white moon. The next thing I knew there was a huge ship behind my dingy coming right for me. I somehow understood that it was a pirate ship. I knew I was in deep crap! There was no way to outrun it and within moments I would be over run or boarded. Somehow I ended up into the dark cool water, sinking of course. I remember feeling the water filling my nostrils and my breath growing short. I remember thinking "its a dream, wake up now!" It was then that I realized it was a dream inside a dream and it was much harder to control. So I tried to sink quicker and deeper below the surface, my nostrils flaring in my sleep as my mind fought two states of sleeping dreams. "Wake up before you drown," and "Wake up again, you're still dreaming!"

I remember hitting the alarm as I took the last gulp of air mixed with water, violently exiting two dreams at once breathless. The last level of the dream pulled my head back to the pillow and darkness of the morning. I could hear myself thinking about how odd the dream had been; but arent I still sleeping or am I still dreaming? Even after showering, I was still thinking about the odd sensations of being trapped in two dreams at once and how unusually difficult it had been to get myself out of harms way. Typically I can seize control of my dreams; why was this time different? Did all of me make it back?

The day has been almost a fog. I dont feel the dreams anymore; just the fog. I am looking forward to the workout tonite and I hope it will be good. Hopefully the iron will get me completely back. Hopefully my patience will be revitalized. Hopefully I will be normal by then. Usually I can feel the blood sauntering through my veins, my muscles preparing for the end of the afternoon, my thoughts arguing with each other. Today there is only the echo of memories....

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M

Absence Matters!

2008-09-29T15:37:00.002-05:00

Hmm....this blog could go a lot of different directions...

It is the absence of things that provide information of the place they hold in our perceptions and realities. It is as simple as missing the warm embrace of a loved one, the consistency of the norm no matter how good or bad or the vital parts each of us play nonchalantly in everyday life; never quite aware of our importance, purpose or comic relief. Send in the clowns!

I never noticed how scarely Bozo looked before or is it the simplicity of my thought that's missing?
Its all such a divine sadistic.

!!!
M

The Nod for Odd: The Downside Up

2008-09-24T14:16:00.004-05:00

...all the nerds are still linked to each other and their pasts for all time; our shared pains remain even when we're numb

Its beautiful outside and the inside is not much different. I once wanst so comfortable with being myself. In fact it was a very painful journey internally, emotionally chaotic. I can only imagine how it must be now to grow up in America not a part of the elite. Yet some might argue that nothing has changed. With much whatever, sooner or later you realize you are different or at least just odd. As you evolve, you begin to hunger for the difference that has kept you so issolated, so distant from the rest even in crowds, so uniquely in need to remain that odd or increase the distance between the dots. There is that point that if you cant beat them and you cant join them; you become your own — the self proclaimed crown prince of pop, in a manner of speaking. Someone once said that if you stand still long enuf the whole world will come back around. What dulls the fury that has accumulated by the time it comes back? What can cool the rage of a thousand demons focused on a single anger? Hmmm...eh right? Anyway — for those who really know what I am talking about understand the energy surge from the wreckening...like the Highlander after the fall of the head.

The great fear and great seduction is loving the quickening and wanting it much more than the justice that preceeds it. I just want the energy, the power, the juice of the quickening; do the heads matter or why they were lost? Sooner or later you just want the Quickening flowing through your veins without worrying about the heads. In the end there is always justice; there's just not enuf heads...... So if we bail out all the "Immortal Financial Giants" that lumber across the land and reward the crooks who blame our own greed as their justifications to continue to keep their twisted decaying teflon souls while the country falls to its knees on the way to its stomach; will they live to bypass our knees completely next time...and there is always a "next time"....

!!!
M

Powerless Conversation: Lip Puppets

2008-09-22T13:34:00.002-05:00

It's a day as normal as any. Not sure if I was hungry or not; I headed off to the coffee house I weekly frequent. Upon walking toward the tiny building on the corner as my skin drinks in the warmth of the Nashville day, I notice people sitting and eating outside engrossed in conversation. Crossing the street, I nonchalantly pass a gentleman on his cellphone, burried in a cellphone "power conversation." Minutes later after ordering my drink, he enters. His order had been ready for some time and I had commented to him just so and that he had been deeply involved in a "power conversation." His response is the inspiration for todays "odd normal" blog. His reply came back, "actually I wish it was; instead it was a 'powerless conversation.' That's when the light illuminated the darkness concerning today's blog. I thanked him kindly for the inspiration and just perhaps today's blog will do justice to such a powerful statement....

They say words have power. They say you must be very careful what you say, especially if you are angry or really stressed. They say words shape our entire destinies. I cannot say that any of those statements are more true than others; but I can say that the opposite might equally be true. Conversation may well be "powerless" in America. Not powerless in its ability to mislead or empower or degrade; but powerless in its ability to hold its speaker accountable. It was one of the things I learned very early in life, pounded and drilled into my existence by my father, a man from a small town shaped by the relativity of black and in the south. "A man's word is his bond...without that, not much else matters. Be a man of your word," he would say at least once a week. Sick of hearing it, yes, I was; but indeed he did always do what he said he would even if it was later. As time passed, I grew to admire that about him. Years later I discovered that I had become the same way. I realized that I would rather a person promise me nothing or utter no words instead of saying something they neither remembered or meant. Then neither of us would be upset later.

With that am also reminded of another thing, people who are always shoving their religion and/or opinions down other people's throat. It was just last night that I recall saying to my sister, "people really dont care what you say, they watch what you do..." I suspect my statement was lost but its power isnt. Long after the elections are over, the winner will be judged by what actually happened....but really, what can change in 4 years? at this point, even 8? Ironicly the only thing I have noticed that creates instant change might just be the good news of the gospel we so desperately rush to extinguish from our pledges, money and state buildings....but thats another blog. Arent origin and identity linked regardless of evolution? (that one is free to whomever might feel obliged; just send me a link so I can read it too)

It's become unfortunate and quite "normal" to have no faith in conversation or even whomever is expounding it. While I wish no leader to become entangled in some scandal; reality happens for one simple fact. All conversations are created by humans. Humans fortunately or unfortunately have yet to attain perfection. Perhaps if they did, they might become bored enuf to create something less perfect.....(I'll let that one linger for the marinade to drip through) Dont you hate giving good advice only to see it discarded like some used-to-be's autograph whose fame was as long as the distance to the ground from a footprint; easily discard for the next clean napkin at Waffle House. Humans....

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M

Missing...The Twinkle Flicker

2008-09-11T10:49:00.001-05:00

Its been a strange morning. I awoke and there was an overwhelming feeling of something missing. Its a missing that wasnt missing the day before; like something got trapped between sleep and wake and didnt make it back through the crack of morning. I watched my cuddly wife make her way to the shower, moving between the light and shadows of morning; so that was fine. Most of my friends seem to be normal; so I cannot account for the "absence in the force" but that doesnt change its existence. I hope it is only an omen of good tidings of change; typically it isnt. I can only feel the perimeter of the absence; I cannot identify its indentation. Hopefully it will all just dissolve away; but thats not typical either. Hence; it is definitely an odd normal day! It reminds me of a Bruce Springsteen song...MISSING!

Woke up this morning, was a chill in the air
Went into the kitchen, your
cigarettes were lying there
Your jacket hung on the chair
where you left it last night
Everything was in place, everything seemed all right
But you were missing
Missing... more lyrics

Its a very haunting feeling. Luckily I dont live on feelings but it is certainly an oddness that cannot go without notice. I remember waking but trying to go back to sleep being aware that all of me wasn't there. This should prove to be a very unique day. My iPOD has sealed me off from the rest of the world and its noises echo back and forth between the gulf. Today's soup de jour is a from http://www.binauralbeats.net. It is definitely a day for tunes without words....

If the stars stopped twinkling; would the night sky be as bright as day noon?

!!!
M

Walking Alone for the Last Time

2008-09-10T11:47:00.006-05:00

It's odd how the mind finds ways to ask questions. Most people seem to be afraid of questions; but isn't that the power of the mind, the genius of it's creation. But if its creator is so perfect; why do we seem so imperfect, so troubled, so questioning and even powerless? I listen to teens and 20-somethings and they defiantly ask questions. Questions that the old school might only blush at before running away screaming. However; truth be told, they probably ask the same questions when they were 20-something too; they just don't remember. It's all good. Be who you are and love yourself; that's what you were made to do. It's fascinating to watch the "system" try to force people into molds and their nature's into cookie-cutter dies.

There are three of us in the office and somehow suicide came up. Oh yeah, because of the recent Vince Young scare. One asked how I felt about people who did it? Did I have any sympathy for the person or for their family? Oh YES! I have friends who have committed suicide. There would seem to be a range of emotions that flood you in that situation from hurt to rage. You notice the absence and helplessness. You wonder "what" or "if you had just" ...whatever. You wonder what was worth doing this thing; everybody has problems; but they pass.

In the same breath, I think everybody's got a number that comes up and that's the day it happens; not a minute before or after...like being born. So does that mean that that was the way they were destined to check out? I dont know. I know its not "my way" and "I" am the only one I can speak for. Being the oldest of 6 kind of gives you a "god-complex" or "father-plex" and you always want to "fix" everything or "tell" more than "listen." It's only slightly tough to recover from such a bad habit. Who can stop destiny or question someone else's lifepath? I can only try and help anybody that's around me but I cannot make them "me" or change who they are. In the same breath, you can lead the horse to the water; but you cannot make them drink it.

Life is a constant TRANSFORMATION! That's what I love about it. I am not the same as I was yesterday. Nothing can stop me from changing tomorrow and today doesn't have to dictate who I am tomorrow. Everything is possible and the impossible is only limited by my determination. I would even say that death might be saddled by the same statements; don't know, I havent been there yet (at least not to my knowledge)...so I go with what I know. I am not afraid to "believe;" and that doesn't mean I cannot ask questions. We move through live hopefully growing, not remaining the same and unfortunately "good" is a point of reference relative to position. Thats not to say you should disregard everything or everyone else.

There is ALWAYS another way.
I think therefore I am.
Where there is a will, there is a way.
Get the right information from the right people.
Ignorance may be bliss; but consequences arent.

!!!
M

There is no finish line!

2008-08-28T15:59:00.000-05:00

Its a cruel trick of life that we discover after Santa is no more. It begins with the little things and escalates to all our foundational gems. First they say, they love you no matter what. Then they say, God loves you. After that, they tell you that you can be anything you want to be. And finally, be the best. I often wonder would it have been better to aim high and end up low or aim low and be thrilled with ending up normal? It seems that everything one begins ends or never ends. Standing still is never really an option even if you opt to do nothing. Its like being on a conveyor belt...you can go faster if you walk too; but if you stand still you're still moving. I guess we are fortunate in that we can sometimes choose whether we are moving forwards or backwards.

If I saw me leave could I stand in still and say hello tomorrow? No, I'm not smokin' anything. Never needed to. The best roads are unpaved and unmapped. There are no signs telling you which direction to take or guarantees after the next turn. That is the natural way...blindness. Only in the dark will the light appear. Even at death, life keeps going. In eternity there is still tomorrow....

!!!
M

The Storm's A Brewin'

2008-08-27T14:40:00.002-05:00

Its funny how we can look at the sky and notice the clouds gathering. We tend to note how dark they are or how bulbous a thunderhead might be. We really notice when one side of the sky is light and the other very dark. Sooner of later you see the birds all flying in the same direction...away. It reminds me of growing up...that critical moment before you did what you shouldnt have done that you cannot turn back from....that was the day my mother nailed my skull with a skillet. I remember it very well. 15 years are just like yesterday. Yeh, I know, that explains a lot.

Whats even funnier about it all or maybe ironic is the term, is that even God tends to give us a bit of sarcasm by basicly saying "you notice the seasons and everything else going on; but suddenly you dont understand what I want or said? How can that be? Funny how the truth can be that way sometimes. Truth is typically the source of our greatest angers and fears. We wouldnt dare want you to tell us the truth; its much more polite to lie...is that what "political correctness" has reinforced?

Take note next time when you see the clouds in you life gathering....its probably the same; there's a storm coming. Did you flip off the guy guilding a giant boat or the evacuee volunteer trying to get you to leave your present location? When was the last time ignorance was wise?

!!!
M

Do you B-E-L-I-E-V-E?

2008-08-21T15:20:00.000-05:00

There are things that do go bump in the night. Some of them bump back. I have seen them once and yes, there was some fear involved. Are you brave enuf to turn on the light or are you cowering beneath the sheets with clenched fists praying/begging for morning?

Find out which one you are? Play the game!
The results may suprise you. Click on the image and rise to a new level of terror!

!!!
M

Deliciously Stewed Bat!

2008-08-20T15:18:00.002-05:00

BATMAN, The DARK KNIGHT

Well I finally saw the Batman movie. Yeah, it was willing to forego all the hoopla and wait until I was sure I might go to the IMAX and have room to spread out and enjoy the potiential of such a movie in private. I was certain it would be near impossible to top BATMAN BEGINS and with modest hope, I was considering the error of my thoughts. Heath Leger...hmmm; so what. He never did much for me; besides Jack Nicholson had already been the Joker. Who could be better than Jack? Slipping into my seat with popcorn and no drink due to the forewarned length of the movie I began fighting to ignore all the tiny lit screens of cellphones and handhelds gleeming in the darkness. That is another reason I dont usually go to movies...lack of consideration. Well enuf of that; on to the Bat. Bale is definitely the best of all the caped crusaders. I say that being completely MARVEL; but fully embracing this tiny jaunt into DC land.

Bale is easily the best Bruce Wayne and the best Batman. His brooding stares wrinkle his soverign temples as the Bat must choose between oposing identities. Bruce Wayne is a complex character, at least as of the last two Batmans. He is a man with all the trappings that should make one happy; but they are also his curse. Trapped among the money, ego and deep sad emptiness from losing his "good" parents he cannot successfully engage in true love. That would become a weakness. The struggle between the man and the bat fight for ownership of reality...which identity is the costume. Of course some of you already know how I feel about masks....

Morgan Freeman...always good. There are some who only get better; especially when they typically have only been "good" characters in the past. Its nice to see these golden geriatrics of Hollywood break their own molds and transform into multidimensional personas; i.e. Denzel Washington.

Michael Caine...again, always good. Yes, he is a butler, but so much more. He is the out-of-body conscienceness of a father long dead and Bruce Wayne prior to corruption or conviction...you chose.

Heath Ledger...the Joker! Let it be decreed once and for at least now, the best of the Joker. Again, I occassionally have a problem siding with the villian but for "good" reasons. I really had little expectations here. Let me say within the first 10 minutes, the movie was already worth full price and IMAX prices at that. Never has the role had such honesty and pathos for reality. It was if Socrates were wearing clown makeup. From the makeup to the gestures to the sadistic humanity of reasonlessness, the Joker scores all aces. While I was occassionally reminded of Prison Break in terms of his planning and foresight, there wasnt once that Leger did not own the screen. He was never visible too long nor insincere in his venir. It is the madness that breeds such genius. I only wish he could have survived long enuf in the darkness to have seen the brilliant light on the other side. The role is legendary. The performance is immortal.

As for the movie, its a "2 thumbs up with a lap of popcorn and chocolate." I dont buy many movies mostly because once I have seen it, I know how it ends. My memory is really good...but this may be one of the very few in the company of Terminator 2, Shawshank Redemption, The Notebook, Transformers, Spiderman, Its A Wonderful Life and Blair Witch. Sometimes the hero has to play the villian to protect humanity from itself. Its a tough call; but BATMAN is willing to make that choice. Everything in this movie comes together like a warm beef stew on a chilly December afternoon by the fire...perfect. As for the Mummy and Jet Li; please recycle the film....Give the promos guy a huge raise.

Traceable Darknesses

2008-08-19T15:42:00.004-05:00

Untraceable

Starring Diane Lane, Colin Hanks, Billy Burke and Joseph Cross, this movie is a thriller. Directed by Gregory Hoblit, the story is quite entertaining from an cyber standpoint, making it very relevant. The crux of the movie is a geeky serial killer who posts pictures/streaming video of his murders on the web! Of course, his excuse is that "we," the public are responsible for the murders because we wont stop coming to the site and certainly wont stop watching until the deed is done.

I found the movie entertaining in many ways in spite of being irritated that an investigator of cyber crimes would be so continually cyber careless. (you know how it is when a movie makes you yell at the screen) I am not here to review the movie; but I will say that the humanity of the plot is extremely realistic. Why cant we stop watching the trainwreck? Why must we watch someone else's misery? I immediately am reminded of the long slow white bronco chase from an unmentioned exfootball player or a certain pantiless popstar spiraling hopelessly downward and the list goes on. Somewhere in our own postulate selfrighteousness, we are lifted by someone else's plunge.

Would you be able to stop watching? Can you look away when you're entertainment is right before your eyes? Ever wonder why so many people get hurt from filming a tornado? No matter how bad the news story; next week there's one more important. Last week's disaster/crime is old news, tossed aside and forgotten; we constantly need new candy...... So is it really the tobacco company or those supporting them; thus requiring their existence? What of the big petro companies/countries?

...so whose slogan is this really.....??? Maybe we all own a little percentage..... PLEASE! Dont click on the image.
!!!
M

The Irrevokable Past; Still Today

2008-08-04T14:27:00.000-05:00

Keith Edmier, "Beverly Edmier, 1967," 1998

I found this image by accident when searching for something else. It is an extremely powerful image and it really speaks to me. My early childhood days left some bit to be desired at times. I was very young; somewhere between 5-10 years old when I remember my mother almost leaving my father. It was night time and all I remember are the tail lights slowly disappearing in the darkness. I remember it like yesterday. It was then I remember thinking that I would never be dependent on someone again; they are always subject to leave. I knew who I would go with if I had to choose; and if I didnt, I would choose myself — at least I would always be with me. The logic seems odd; but it still seems sound today. I am always fascinated by the human mind/psyche; how the mind stores memory, sensory and emotion together. I say that because I remember the darkness, I remember the air temperature, I remember the internal hurt and the thoughts that went with it. It is certainly no mystery that children suffer from events that happen to them during the formative years. Everybody remembers something horrible from gradeschool and spend much of the rest of their lives making sure to never experience it again. [yeah, this blog is WAY real and I shouldnt even share it with you]...

But that is the beauty of testimonies — they empower someone else to make better decisions or to at least know they are not alone in their experiences and/or even to have hope. Life certainly turned out alright for me; but their were days I certainly would have had my doubts. This picture or better yet, the concept behind this conceptual sculpture is earthshattering. In this single image; we can get several things. I will list only my few; you may have completely different ones. 1) The fruits of love 2) See what I made 3) I am you 4) don't throw me away...etc. Great piece of work! Isnt that the beauty of good art; it makes us think and examine our world and ourselves?

Hence to my final thought; "if those memories are stored as chemical compounds; do we reconvert them to energy as we become old; making the newest memories disappear and the oldest more real?" [inverse memory consumption?] I suppose we all have something we are trying to get over or block out all together; but is that act itself giving it more power? Would we have been better sooner if we had just forgiven completely? Hmmm...I dont know.

!!!
M

Falling, Falling, Falling UP!

2008-07-31T15:00:00.005-05:00

Well as usual, the Pensive has inspired another blog. Since I have been surrounded by funerals lately and close calls; this subject just reverberates. After returning home from LA, CA; some dear friends drop by with their two young boys (5yr-10yr olds). Of course I hit it off with the kids; they were great. Not more than a day later I get some news that would seem like a rude joke. The youngest, little Stevie had to be rushed to the emergency room for continuous vomiting. Believe it or not; they discover a tumor the size of a man's fist pressing against his organs. Go figure; not more than 48 hours we were playing Wii baseball and he was a little wild man running around and having a blast. Its Tuesday now and I hear the emergency operation went well...5 hrs well. Naturally his parents had asked for prayer. Would I dare to sink to my knees again after losing my mother and father-in-law in spite of prayer? How could I swallow children deserving these kinds of things? ...and had He answered my other 2 prayers; did that make them better off if I hadn't prayed?

If your gasping at this point; perhaps you arent accustomed to this level of real. Somewhere between yesterday and today I hear that my favorite history professor passed Tuesday. He was only 57. I hated history until him. He was an innovative free thinker that put history in a framework of simutaneous current events so the facts and dates made sense instead of some issolated list of crap I would never need again. Cheers old friend! Well its gonna be quite a month; but that doesnt shake me; I am still falling up. I say falling up because its the one thing left we (some of us) cling to; sometimes beyond reason and ration. It is certain that if one lives long enough; your knees will bend or your brow will break; sometimes both. Thats ok. I get it. Its all part of the gig. Everybody dies and everybody has to be born to get here before going somewhere else. That may seem like over simplification; but is it really. T.D. Jakes has a great song with Kirk Franklin after 911.

4 911 (ft. Bishop T.D. Jakes) - Kirk Franklin

Lyrics are a lost art form these days; but sink into these. Good leaders, heroes and role models all have something in common. Its not that they arent in touch with reality. It isnt that they dont see all the bad things going on around them. Its not even that they dont have fears, needs or faults. Its seeing it all and deciding in spite of what the five senses tell us to do what they know/believe to be right; believing in the greater especially when they feel lesser....that takes hard work, fortitude and endurance. Thats where I'd put my money.

[Jakes:] Hello...
[Kirk:] Hey... I got some stuff I need to talk to you about
Lately, pastor I've been...having all these crazy kind of dreams
It's hard to sleep, I can't eat...scary, you know
[Jakes:] I know what you mean
[Kirk:] I mean, every since that Tuesday, seems like life's just getting real strange
[Jakes:] I hear ya
Anthrax, terrorist attacks and... I ain't even trying to get on no plane
[Jakes:] I feel ya
[Kirk:] ...and you know when I try to pray, there's a voice that telling that God's not real
[Jakes:] You know that's just the enemy
[Kirk:] Yea, but you ain't feelin' me
[Jakes:] No son, I know just know you feel...
See, just because I preach and teach don't mean I don't get scared sometimes
[Kirk:] yea, whatever, but you T.D. Jakes
[Jakes:] Well, then I don't make mistakes...
[Kirk:] Well...
[Jakes:] Now, let me tell you what's on my mind...
When your smile is gone (He cares)
[Kirk:] Yea, but I feel so alone (He's there and...)
[Jakes:] Although, your heart is heavy, God said: (every burden I will bear)
[Kirk:] See, but you don't know my (my pain)
And I'm getting so sick and tired of all (this rain)
I just got laid off, and to top it off the rent's due, so tell me what I got to gain?
[Jakes:] Well, see, trials come to make (you strong)
Storms won't last (last long)
[Kirk:] But how can I trust God in all this mess?
[Jakes:] Well, see that's the reason for the song
See, wherever you go there's one thing ya got to know
God, is right there by your side (weeping may endure for a night)
And he told me to tell you everything (everything's gon' be alright)
....more.

....but isnt it odd. People of extreme character are the first ones we call "nuts"........

!!!
M

Descent Into The Force: The Reclaimer

2008-07-15T14:25:00.000-05:00

It is said that there is a long black train that comes for us. Everyone rides. When, not if, it comes you MUST get on or be thrown on; there is no avoiding its path. You cannot simply lookout for its tracks and run the other way. This train requires no rails; its smoke is dark as its whistle is deafening.

They say there is a ship just beyond the horizon that comes into shore only to pick up more passengers. Noone ever sets foot on the shore from this ships return; they only board to go away. Its not a particularly fancy ship, no geat masts that require huge winds, its wood is not mahogany or anything special. Some say the captain is always smiling; others remark that he has never been seen. I do know that once boarded the ship glides beyond the horizon, beyond the sea, beyond the edge of the world. Its numbers cannot be traced; the coast guard cannot stop or interfere with its voyage. It always makes its drop. That is the sovernty of the force; to send and to claim as it sees fit. People call it by many names; but in the end, whatever your choice, it is soverign

Today I lose an valuable old friend and father-in-law. His memory, his laughter, his intellect and our discussions during quiet times speak volumes to my soul. Though we appeared quite different, we were very much the same. Beyond the flesh of men, the soul knows its companions. He raised an incredible daughter whom he dearly loved and sought to pass on his wisdom and character to anyone in earshot; especially children and family. Our legacy is not what we do for ourselves; but the impact we have on others. I look forward to seeing him again on another shore far more brilliantly lit. There we will sit like giggling little kids, laughing at all our doubts, questions and fears. Even reciting our favorite poems just like before. Farewell old friend; until we meet again.

The Little Ship

I stood watching as the little ship sailed out to sea. The setting sun tinted his white sails with a golden light, and as he disappeared from sight a voice at my side whispered, “He is gone”.

But the sea was a narrow one. On the farther shore a little band of friends had gathered to watch and wait in happy expectation. Suddenly they caught sight of the tiny sail and, at the very moment when my companion had whispered, “He is gone” a glad shout went up in joyous welcome, “Here he comes!”
~~~ Unsigned ~~~~

The Ship of Death

I

Now it is autumn and the falling fruit
and the long journey towards oblivion.

The apples falling like great drops of dew
to bruise themselves an exit from themselves.

And it is time to go, to bid farewell
to one’s own self, and find an exit
from the fallen self.

II

Have you built your ship of death, O have you?
O build your ship of death, for you will need it.

The grim frost is at hand, when the apples will fall
thick, almost thundrous, on the hardened earth.

And death is on the air like a smell of ashes!
Ah! can’t you smell it?
And in the bruised body, the frightened soul
finds itself shrinking, wincing from the cold
that blows upon it through the orifices.

III

And can a man his own quietus make
with a bare bodkin?

With daggers, bodkins, bullets, man can make
a bruise or break of exit for his life;
but is that a quietus, O tell me, is it quietus?

Surely not so! for how could murder, even self-murder
ever a quietus make?

IV

O let us talk of quiet that we know,
that we can know, the deep and lovely quiet
of a strong heart at peace!

How can we this, our own quietus, make?

V

Build then the ship of death, for you must take
the longest journey, to oblivion.

And die the death, the long and painful death
that lies between the old self and the new.

Already our bodies are fallen, bruised, badly bruised,
already our souls are oozing through the exit
of the cruel bruise.

Already the dark and endless ocean of the end
is washing in through the breaches of our wounds,
Already the flood is upon us.

Oh build your ship of death, your little ark
and furnish it with food, with little cakes, and wine
for the dark flight down oblivion.

VI

Piecemeal the body dies, and the timid soul
has her footing washed away, as the dark flood rises.

We are dying, we are dying, we are all of us dying
and nothing will stay the death-flood rising within us
and soon it will rise on the world, on the outside world.

We are dying, we are dying, piecemeal our bodies are dying
and our strength leaves us,
and our soul cowers naked in the dark rain over the flood,
cowering in the last branches of the tree of our life.

VII

We are dying, we are dying, so all we can do
is now to be willing to die, and to build the ship
of death to carry the soul on the longest journey.

A little ship, with oars and food
and little dishes, and all accoutrements
fitting and ready for the departing soul.

Now launch the small ship, now as the body dies
and life departs, launch out, the fragile soul
in the fragile ship of courage, the ark of faith
with its store of food and little cooking pans
and change of clothes,
upon the flood’s black waste
upon the waters of the end
upon the sea of death, where still we sail
darkly, for we cannot steer, and have no port.

There is no port, there is nowhere to go
only the deepening blackness darkening still
blacker upon the soundless, ungurgling flood
darkness at one with darkness, up and down
and sideways utterly dark, so there is no direction any more
and the little ship is there; yet she is gone.
She is not seen, for there is nothing to see her by.
She is gone! gone! and yet
somewhere she is there.
Nowhere!

VIII

And everything is gone, the body is gone
completely under, gone, entirely gone.
The upper darkness is heavy as the lower,
between them the little ship
is gone

It is the end, it is oblivion.

IX

And yet out of eternity a thread
separates itself on the blackness,
a horizontal thread
that fumes a little with pallor upon the dark.

Is it illusion? or does the pallor fume
A little higher?
Ah wait, wait, for there’s the dawn
the cruel dawn of coming back to life
out of oblivion

Wait, wait, the little ship
drifting, beneath the deathly ashy grey
of a flood-dawn.

Wait, wait! even so, a flush of yellow
and strangely, O chilled wan soul, a flush of rose.

A flush of rose, and the whole thing starts again.

X

The flood subsides, and the body, like a worn sea-shell
emerges strange and lovely.
And the little ship wings home, faltering and lapsing
on the pink flood,
and the frail soul steps out, into the house again
filling the heart with peace.

Swings the heart renewed with peace
even of oblivion.

Oh build your ship of death. Oh build it!
for you will need it.
For the voyage of oblivion awaits you.

D.H. Lawrence

Born Choiceless-Curse of the Nongod

2008-07-10T12:54:00.006-05:00

We are all born helpless and in need of care. We all die much the same way...helpless and in need of care....

Its Thursday morning and you havent heard from me in some time. There are probably many reasons for such prolonged and unwritten silence but none of them seem available to me. Its one of those weeks stuck in between crunch time and waiting for the next wave...its not a bad place to hover. Our morning has been uneventful other than an interesting conversation between coworkers. The conversation began innnocently enuf; but the scope quickly went deep. If you live long enuf, it is likely you will experience some of life's unpleasantries. There had been a horrible accident this morning that resulted in a young child in a PT Cruiser having a belt buckle lodged into his/her skull.... Needless to say, that would require significant impact; not to mention a severe degree of pain. I then remarked of the erie silence that envelopes a room if you are present at someone's death. Coworker Crock told stories of a previous time when he worked for a wrecker service and some things that he would never forget.

By the end of it all, he remarked that he preferred to go quick; that way he could preserve his "dignity." My question also filled the room with an erie silence, "is dignity over-rated or just egotistical narcissism?" Certainly all men are born to die. We come into the world naked, hairless and helpless; how befitting is it that we leave the same way? No, none of that is a pleasant thought. Nor are the responsibilities of having to tell a parent what, when and what they cannot do...; that horrible loss of independence. Even worse; to be the person forced to endure the realization of the things you can no longer do for yourself, even the most private of necessities. Yeah, we eventually all agreed that we preferred a certain "quality of life."

We all agreed that we preferred to maintain "dignity." We all agreed that we would also have no choice just as the hundreds, if not generations before us. Its a sobering thought for a Thursday; nonetheless, thats the way it happened. Thats the way it was. Thats how we left it. I will be heading off to a dental appointment latter in the afternoon. I hope they have plenty of gas; that's really the best part of it all...could I get some extra gas to go please....comfortably numb....

Sometimes I wonder if the angels have
those kinds of days too and does it make them fall?
What is the great equalizer on the other side?

!!!

Constricted Creativity: Sip, Gulp, Surrender

2008-06-26T10:37:00.000-05:00

It is an oddity that seems normal now days. My pensive friend wants to be published. I am often contemplating the course of "great artists" who were best BEFORE being "popular or published." It would seem that the moment you are owned by the machine, the fury of the creative wanes. Perhaps the cosmos is not happy with us trying to direct its intentions. Perhaps people are better creating when they are not constrained. Creativity is the bloom of a well watered flower; its bound to draw bees. I taste it in occassional gulps; sometimes only sips; its nectar is unmistakeable and fuels the lust for its return.

There is a residue that the creative leaves on its victims. They have a certain smell. Their energy is more than just their own. They seem magnetic even when there may be no obvious "cosmetic incentives" apparent. It is an invisible python encircling its prey with an unmatched passion, quietly consuming rational conscienceness, squeezing free the distractions that would make it easily jealous. Creativity is a jealous master. If its not number one; it becomes number missed. Her revenge is devastating. Oh, you dont believe me. Hmmm...think of any musician that "used to be hot;" stare into the photo of their eyes, peer into their soul. They would give up anything get back in the soup of its graces.

Creativity feeds on whatever its surrounded by in addition to its own agenda. There are no substitutes for it. It is a red hot brand from a roaring fireplace surrounded by lavish cozy sofas; its light glowing through cool wine glasses. Full attention ONLY. Thats the beauty and danger of creativity. I hope you get published; but moreso, I hope its what you anticipated and the cosmos remembers your location and continues to endorse your presence and disciple. Cheers! I'll sip to that.

!!!
M

Angels Glow Best in Darkness

2008-06-05T09:28:00.000-05:00

Its always one of those grey areas for me. People who are "deeply religious" but only go to church and only have "church friends." I am certainly no scholor or saint; but to the best of my understanding Jesus rarely hung out in church with the "religious" all day, rubbing elbows with the local perfect. I have heard several arguments on praying the same things over and over; (God's really busy, He may not have heard you the first time — is that the logic or the more you ask, the more serious you must be) Of course Christ states that we ought to always pray. In the gardens before his betrayal, He prayed the hardest; so much so that his tears and sweat became blood. Can you imagine being serious enough that your sweat becomes blood; that's SERIOUS! Of course, everything after that was mega SERIOUS too. All prayers dont get anwered no matter how sincere you are or dire the situation. I am always agast when people get upset when God didnt show up on their schedule. Its ok; I've been there! Truth be told, part of the mystic of being God is that it really doesnt matter what anybody thinks — what can they do about it? I like that scripture that says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? Matt 6:27 or even better "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt 6:34

So why this blog about this subject? I dont know. I recently needed to make an emergency visit to my father-in-laws bedside. We have become good friends. In poor health, I asked if he would humor me and of course he did. We had a brief prayer for he and the family and his community. He is quite the thinker and any true thinker is really an asker; someone who doesnt take everybody's word for it and wants his own answers and direction. I can respect that. We chuckled after the prayer because I knew his thoughts on the subject which I verbalized with a "yes, I know. yada yada yada." My reply was, its ok. I have enuf for both of us. We will NEVER be able to talk somebody into something that someone else cannot talk them out of. The surest argument is in action; words are cheap. Somewhere in the hearts of men we are all looking for our own unique experience with the Infinite that removes most of our questions and builds our faith. It is only the continued consistency of that faith that promotes our freely exercising of it; sometimes in spite of the fear of failure.

To my knowledge I have never seen an angel. People flinch when I say I want to see and hunt demons. They see it as a foolish desire with peril meanings. I say, if all the things read in the Book are true, what have I to fear. Is not one confirmation of the other? The darkness is only terrifying to someone who has never been there. That reminds me of one of my favorite Sanford and Son episodes. Lamont, his son cautions him with the "Fools tread where wise men fear to go" quote; Fred responds with "Wise men never go; so how are they to know." Granted you dont have to stand in front of a bullet to know its gonna hurt; but every wound is not fatal. I leave that to your own grain of salt.

All I know is that something is much bigger than us. Far be it from just being "good people" is a higher connection that precipitates the necessity to be more than average that is manifested in the appearance of being a "good person" but there's so much more than that...or is there? Angels are higher than men. There are no certified courses for that degree. You just are or you arent. Perhaps the human is the catipillar to a higher form beyond a "good person."

!!!
M

Tomato Reality: Silent Roars

2008-05-30T14:12:00.000-05:00

I find that I am often given to long moments of silence. It comes after the continued giving that tends to leave you empty. It becomes a time of replinishment and self examination and even pruning. Its a gift; its a curse; the ability to immediately change drasticly. Sometimes it makes reality spin dizzily.

Maybe its a sign that I talk too much; but my silence tends to not go unnoticed. I dont know if thats good or bad and have stopped caring. It is what it is. I have often said that things capable of great good are also capable of monumental destruction. That is the nature of being born human; we are but coins who's thoughts can immediately flip us from one side to the other; providing blessing or damnation. It is written that blessings and curses shouldnt be able to come from the same place. NOTE: An orange tree only makes oranges. An apple tree only apples; so it is with a tomato plant. Here's the crux; the tomato plant DOES produce ripe and rotten tomatoes! I tend to cast people toward the tomato; not the tree; free to be ripe and rotten — the best of both. It is much like now; it only lasts for an instant and then becomes then, shortly followed by the past and logged into history. Even the presence of the worm on the tomato plant is ultimately irrelevant. Were it not there, the tomatoes would still rot on the very vine of life. Is TOO much life still death? Too much freedom enslavement? Too much intelligence the juice of fools?

Ok...fire away

...and why would we choose to throw a rotten tomato over anything else...we cant wait to get our stink on somebody else......???? If everybody stinks then noone smells.....

!!!
M

Lazy: the rule; not the exception....

2008-05-28T15:42:00.000-05:00

To put it short; there are few things I hate more than laziness. Laziness tends to overshadow every part of a person; from habits, to hygine, to lifestyle. Some people legitimately need help. Others live to be supported by the rest of the world. Maybe there is a point that enough negative things break a person and hope is completely gone. But what of the young; those who havent lived long enough to be hopeless.... Will we forever coddle them for a day without us into a world that will have no regard for teaching its lessons far more efficiently.

The Bible warns against laziness many times, as does it many things.

1. Proverbs 12:24
Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labor.
Proverbs 12:23-25 (in Context) Proverbs 12 (Whole Chapter)
2. Proverbs 19:15
Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless man goes hungry.
Proverbs 19:14-16 (in Context) Proverbs 19 (Whole Chapter)
Proverbs 10:4
Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.
Proverbs 10:3-5 (in Context) Proverbs 10 (Whole Chapter)
4. Proverbs 12:27
The lazy man does not roast his game, but the diligent man prizes his possessions.
Proverbs 12:26-28 (in Context) Proverbs 12 (Whole Chapter)
5. Proverbs 26:15
The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth.
Proverbs 26:14-16 (in Context) Proverbs 26 (Whole Chapter)
6. Ecclesiastes 10:18
If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks.

Anyway, laziness is usually pretty obvious. You can see it in one's posture. Every step they take, it hangs off them like thick wet mud saturated with stagnate water. Oh yes, it has an odor too. I was never allowed to sleep in as a kid; maybe good or bad. The ole man always said if the sun was up, you should be too. (Glad he never lived in Alaska) If it beats you up; you're late. Sure everyone needs a day off; but some have more off than on; that's the problem. I am always willing to help a working hand so long as its not being sat on at the time.

!!!
M