Well as usual, the Pensive has inspired another blog. Since I have been surrounded by funerals lately and close calls; this subject just reverberates. After returning home from LA, CA; some dear friends drop by with their two young boys (5yr-10yr olds). Of course I hit it off with the kids; they were great. Not more than a day later I get some news that would seem like a rude joke. The youngest, little Stevie had to be rushed to the emergency room for continuous vomiting. Believe it or not; they discover a tumor the size of a man's fist pressing against his organs. Go figure; not more than 48 hours we were playing Wii baseball and he was a little wild man running around and having a blast. Its Tuesday now and I hear the emergency operation went well...5 hrs well. Naturally his parents had asked for prayer. Would I dare to sink to my knees again after losing my mother and father-in-law in spite of prayer? How could I swallow children deserving these kinds of things? ...and had He answered my other 2 prayers; did that make them better off if I hadn't prayed?
If your gasping at this point; perhaps you arent accustomed to this level of real. Somewhere between yesterday and today I hear that my favorite history professor passed Tuesday. He was only 57. I hated history until him. He was an innovative free thinker that put history in a framework of simutaneous current events so the facts and dates made sense instead of some issolated list of crap I would never need again. Cheers old friend! Well its gonna be quite a month; but that doesnt shake me; I am still falling up. I say falling up because its the one thing left we (some of us) cling to; sometimes beyond reason and ration. It is certain that if one lives long enough; your knees will bend or your brow will break; sometimes both. Thats ok. I get it. Its all part of the gig. Everybody dies and everybody has to be born to get here before going somewhere else. That may seem like over simplification; but is it really. T.D. Jakes has a great song with Kirk Franklin after 911.
Lyrics are a lost art form these days; but sink into these. Good leaders, heroes and role models all have something in common. Its not that they arent in touch with reality. It isnt that they dont see all the bad things going on around them. Its not even that they dont have fears, needs or faults. Its seeing it all and deciding in spite of what the five senses tell us to do what they know/believe to be right; believing in the greater especially when they feel lesser....that takes hard work, fortitude and endurance. Thats where I'd put my money.
[Kirk:] Hey... I got some stuff I need to talk to you about
Lately, pastor I've been...having all these crazy kind of dreams
It's hard to sleep, I can't eat...scary, you know
[Jakes:] I know what you mean
[Kirk:] I mean, every since that Tuesday, seems like life's just getting real strange
[Jakes:] I hear ya
Anthrax, terrorist attacks and... I ain't even trying to get on no plane
[Jakes:] I feel ya
[Kirk:] ...and you know when I try to pray, there's a voice that telling that God's not real
[Jakes:] You know that's just the enemy
[Kirk:] Yea, but you ain't feelin' me
[Jakes:] No son, I know just know you feel...
See, just because I preach and teach don't mean I don't get scared sometimes
[Kirk:] yea, whatever, but you T.D. Jakes
[Jakes:] Well, then I don't make mistakes...
[Jakes:] Now, let me tell you what's on my mind...
When your smile is gone (He cares)
[Kirk:] Yea, but I feel so alone (He's there and...)
[Jakes:] Although, your heart is heavy, God said: (every burden I will bear)
[Kirk:] See, but you don't know my (my pain)
And I'm getting so sick and tired of all (this rain)
I just got laid off, and to top it off the rent's due, so tell me what I got to gain?
[Jakes:] Well, see, trials come to make (you strong)
Storms won't last (last long)
[Kirk:] But how can I trust God in all this mess?
[Jakes:] Well, see that's the reason for the song
See, wherever you go there's one thing ya got to know
God, is right there by your side (weeping may endure for a night)
And he told me to tell you everything (everything's gon' be alright)
....but isnt it odd. People of extreme character are the first ones we call "nuts"........